Derrick
February 4th, 2021
Starring: Mayor (female, 35-50), Derrick (male, 60-80)
An oil field, a few miles outside of town. A pickup truck pulls up near a large, rusted oil derrick:
Mayor gets out of the truck and stands at the base of the structure, looking up. At the “head” of the derrick, a face appears. This is Derrick. He speaks in a husky southern twang, as the rig continues to pump away:
MAYOR
Afternoon, Derrick.
DERRICK
Madame Mayor! So kind of you to visit. Can’t deny I’ve been waiting.
MAYOR
I’ve been busy.
DERRICK
Of course. We all got jobs to do, don’t we?
…
MAYOR
I came to tell you I’ve chosen my stance.
DERRICK
Have you now?
MAYOR
I couldn’t stall much longer.
DERRICK
You gonna keep me stalling too?
…
MAYOR
I’m going pro-deal.
For me, the city, the world. It’s for the best.
…
DERRICK
You ever play hold ‘em?
MAYOR
I can.
DERRICK
You got a damn good poker face.
But it’s a bluff. You’re all-in on the river with a high card.
MAYOR
I’m serious.
DERRICK
If you have to say it, are you?
…
I know. You’re feeling the pressure. All the itsy bitsy snowflakes crawling up your brain stem toying with you, trying to turn your thumbs green.
MAYOR
They’re right. Fossil fuels are the end of us.
DERRICK
What’s your Dodge running on?
MAYOR
I don’t like it.
And you’re the problem. I want to work towards a solution.
DERRICK
What, knocking me down, replacing me with a wind turbine? That’s not gonna jet you to Cozumel for the holidays.
MAYOR
En masse, it will. We can get to net zero.
DERRICK
No. We can’t, and you know we can’t.
MAYOR
Unless leaders like me speak up! Take action!
DERRICK
Action?! There is no action! You’re signing onto a feeling. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy, but what about those big corps? And their hardworking industry folk? You think they’ll believe you give a rat’s tush about what they do? They’ll turn on you like you turned on them, and when the election rolls around, they’ll vote you out. You and the horse you rode in on.
…
…
It is admirable. Maybe someday, my time will come. But it’s the wrong battle now. Retreat.
MAYOR
I can’t. It’s on my reelection site.
DERRICK
Take it down.
MAYOR
I’ll be a flip-flopper.
DERRICK
Like every other good politician.
…
Not too late to do right.
…
MAYOR
I’ll need to text my manager. But I need service for that.
DERRICK
Well don’t let me stop you.
After all, I’m just your thoughts mixed with gas fumes.
Mayor stops and stares at Derrick, then goes back to her truck and unlocks it. Before she gets inside, she looks back up:
MAYOR
Derrick?
DERRICK
Madame?
MAYOR
Fuck you.
DERRICK
Daw…
F you too.
Mayor gets into her truck and drives away. Derrick vanishes. The derrick keeps on pumping.