Radical
January 8th, 2021
Starring: Dougie (male, late 20’s), Shane (male, early 50’s)
Southern California. The ocean, a hundred feet off the beach. Shane, in a tight wetsuit, is attempting to stand on his surfboard, looking uncomfortable as his hands are held by Dougie, in boardshorts, who stands with one foot on his board, one foot steadying Shane’s.
DOUGIE
Ok my dude. You’re here. This is the power stance right there. This is the sweet spot, this is where you always wanna be. Feel that? Feel the power from the water pushing into the board pushing into your legs?
SHANE
Uh y—yeah
DOUGIE
Beauteous. Now I’m gonna take my hands away and you’re gonna hang tough ok? So you can feel it in full.
SHANE
Hold on—
DOUGIE
In 3, 2, boom.
Dougie moves his hands and feet off Shane’s board. Shane freezes in the stance, in fearful paralysis.
DOUGIE
Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeahyeahyeah look at you Shane! Look who’s surfing right now!
SHANE
I don’t feel that steady—
DOUGIE
You’re crazy, you’re looking great my man. Just loosen the bones a little, you got this.
Shane stays stuck. A series of wave ripples, coming from a distant boat, come towards them.
SHANE
Oh shoot there’s something—
DOUGIE
Just a little surge. Lean with it, rock with it.
SHANE
I can’t—
The ripple approaches.
DOUGIE
Just breathe Shaney—
Closer.
SHANE
I can’t—
DOUGIE
Don’t bail on me Shaney!
The “wave” hits. It lightly rolls under them, but Shane fearfully slides out of his stance and falls into the ocean. Shane disappears for a moment, then pops back out of the water, clamoring for his board and sliding back onto it with his belly, catching his breath.
SHANE
Ahhh!
God frickin damn it!
DOUGIE
Chill chill chill, you’re alright Shane!
SHANE
No I’m not! I suck! My fifth session and I can’t even stand?!
DOUGIE
Shaney Shane Shaney, you’re doing great. Legends aren’t built in a day.
SHANE
It’s not about being a legend, Doug.
DOUGIE
I know you wanna be in the surf meetings, dude. But patience is our buddy here.
SHANE
But Quarter 1 just started! If Lance and Brent are talking important work stuff in-between riding barrels, the CFO needs to be there for it.
DOUGIE
You will be, you will be. We just need to grab those fundamentals, hug those babies close, and you’ll be ripping with CEO and COO in no time. Trust me, it’s gonna be radical.
SHANE
What is?
DOUGIE
You. The growth. The board. The waves. Everything man.
...
SHANE
Oh
You meant radical like—for a second I thought you meant the other radical.
DOUGIE
...what other radical?
SHANE
Radicals. Square roots.
…
…
Nevermind. Math—
DOUGIE
Ohhhhhh gotcha gotcha gotcha. Yeah math was never my thing. But I’m good with it.
Everyone’s got their gifts, right man?
…
SHANE
Right.
Man.
DOUGIE
So should we go another go?
SHANE
Yeah. Let’s do it.
Dougie holds out his hands to help Shane on the board, but Shane pulls himself up. He assumes the standing position, on his own.
DOUGIE
Boom! Look at that energy! Shane the power stance mane!
Radical, man. Radical.