The Long Way

January 27th, 2021

Starring: Traveler (20-35), Attendant (30-50)

Europe.  A smaller town train station, morning.  Attendant sits at a kiosk, behind glass.  All the trains and times are behind them, illuminated on a screen.  

Traveler, a small duffel slung around their back, briskly walks up to the kiosk.  Traveler starts/tries to speak in the country’s native language:

TRAVELER

Good morning.  

Are there any spots left on the 10:07?

Attendant responds, in English:

ATTENDANT

All sold out, I’m afraid.

There’s space on the 10:47, if that is ok.

Traveler responds in English, grateful but a little deflated:

TRAVELER

Same arrival station?

ATTENDANT

Yes.  And you’ll arrive around the same time as the 10:07.

TRAVELER

How’s that?

ATTENDANT

The 10:47 is a high-speed train.  No regional stops either.

TRAVELER

Oh.

ATTENDANT

Would you like to buy a ticket?

TRAVELER

...no.  I’m not looking for a fast train.  

ATTENDANT

I assure you they’re equally safe.

TRAVELER

That’s not a worry.  It’s more of an ethical dilemma.  

You see, I’m on a trip to take the long way around.

ATTENDANT

I don’t follow…

Traveler points to a country-wide map, showing the train routes:

TRAVELER

I flew in...up there.  

But I’m looking to get to this little town...there.

ATTENDANT

That’s a thirty minute bus ride between them.

TRAVELER

Yes.  So I thought instead of that, I’ll find the longest route around the country to eventually get there, and that will be my trip.  

I’m not staying anywhere longer than a night.  Often it’s on the train.

ATTENDANT

This is your vacation?

TRAVELER

It’s my vacation days.  But it’s a quest.  To make my destination feel like a destination.  

ATTENDANT

And when you arrive…?

TRAVELER

I’ll feel like I earned it.  Because I committed myself to the journey.

ATTENDANT

Interesting.  Very American, but very interesting.

TRAVELER

If I went straight to my destination, you’d call that American too.  

ATTENDANT

Mm.  I suppose I would.  

You do not want to be on the 10:47.  I cannot get you on the 10:07.  The only other option is to take the regional East to its terminus, then connect back West to this station, then connect again on the regional South at 3:07.  Its lack of convenience does not make me wish it on anyone.  

But you said you want the long way.  This is that.

TRAVELER

I’ll do it.  When does the regional East leave?

ATTENDANT

9:54.

TRAVELER

...uh.  It’s 9:52.

ATTENDANT

So it is.  

Attendant holds out their hand:

ATTENDANT

7.75 please.

Traveler scrambles in their pockets, sliding Attendant a 10 bill under the glass.

TRAVELER

Keep it.  I’m an American.  

ATTENDANT

Platform 7a.  Enjoy your voyage.

Attendant slides Traveler their ticket with a smile:

ATTENDANT

Run.

Traveler takes off.

END OF PLAY

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