Ironman

March 24th, 2021

Starring: Demi (female, mid/late 40’s), Blair (female, mid/late 40’s)

A haircut place.  Could be a shared salon, or a Supercuts.  Demi and Blair are alone together, sweeping up hair.

DEMI 

Want to feel bad about yourself? 

BLAIR 

No. 

DEMI 

But it’ll make me feel less bad about myself. 

BLAIR 

Oh.  Then fire away— 

DEMI 

My 54-year-old brother just finished his second Ironman this year. 

BLAIR 

Those big triathlons? 

DEMI 

Yeah, see?   

Demi pulls out her phone to show Blair:

DEMI 

Look, that’s him in Maui. 

BLAIR 

What an asshole. 

DEMI 

I know!  Screw him for taking extreme care of his body at his age. 

BLAIR 

Does he work? 

DEMI 

Weeknight primetime weatherman.   

BLAIR 

Ugh.  I bet he’s a great dad too. 

DEMI 

He is. 

… 

... 

Not the best brother though. 

BLAIR 

Oh so 

You two actually have issues—? 

DEMI 

No, no.  I mean we’re not on bad terms or anything it’s just...we don’t really talk. 

As we’ve gotten older, it’s gotten quieter.  Harder to connect. 

BLAIR 

He thinks he’s too busy for you.  Off doing all his crazy stuff. 

DEMI 

I could do more too. 

BLAIR 

But you’re not the one with this invincibility complex.  Like you’ve got it all figured out. 

DEMI 

But if you met him he’d...he doesn’t rub it in my face.   

Like I’m happy he’s happy, I just wish it wasn’t at the expense of our relationship.   

I feel bad saying— 

BLAIR 

You shouldn’t.  This is on him, he’s the dick. 

DEMI 

He’s not a dick— 

BLAIR 

You can admit it.  He's Mr. Maui Ironman dick! 

DEMI 

Blair! 

BLAIR 

What?  I’m defending you. 

DEMI 

I know but...that’s my brother.  Like...I still love him. 

BLAIR 

Then why did you bring it up? 

DEMI 

I meant it as a joke. 

Ok it wasn't all joke but I...I meant it as one? 

... 

I don’t know.  I think I’m just bitter. 

BLAIR 

That’s ok.  Whatever it takes. 

DEMI 

To what? 

BLAIR 

Make it through the day.   

We’re all pushing through something. 

A customer comes in.  Blair finishes sweeping up the last few hair clumps, then puts away her broom and dustpan, putting on a big smile to greet them.  Demi watches them interact, then looks back down at her brother’s photo on her phone.  She squeezes the lock button (maybe a little too hard), puts down her phone, and keeps on sweeping.  This time, with a bit more feeling.

END OF PLAY

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Misdirection

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Limping