Coloneloscopy
June 25th, 2020
Starring: The Colonel (male, 40-75), Medic (male, (20-25)
An army base tent. Medic, pimply, stands at attention. The Colonel, largely mustached, addresses him.
THE COLONEL
...so that’s the mission, soldier.
Is that clear?
Is that clear?
MEDIC
Yes.
Yes, Colonel.
Chrystal, Colonel.
Swarovski.
I would buy this mission for my spouse on a special occasion.
An anniversary, maybe.
Definitely at least a ten year anniversary.
That’s how clear the mission is Colonel.
THE COLONEL
At ease.
The Medic nods and pushes out a metal hospital cart. The Colonel hops onto the cart, and goes onto all fours, facing out. The Medic puts on a glove and walks behind him.
MEDIC
Colonel? Your pants.
I need them at ease.
The Colonel complies, and pulls down his pants. The Medic begins the procedure.
THE COLONEL
You ever done this, soldier?
MEDIC
Not for a medical purpose.
THE COLONEL
Pardon?
MEDIC
Nevermind.
Um.
The Medic stares closer into The Colonel’s behind.
Here we are.
THE COLONEL
Well…
How does it look, soldier?
MEDIC
Can I be frank with you, Colonel?
THE COLONEL
That’s an order, soldier.
…
MEDIC
Well, Colonel...
It looks like it’s seen some shit.