Poeser
May 28th, 2020
Starring: E and A
A walks up to E, who sits in an armchair, in dark clothes, brooding:
A
How’s it hangin’?
E
Eh.
A
To be honest, you don’t look great. Are you good?
E
Dour.
A
Pardon?
E
Dank. Dreary. Weak. Weary.
A
What happened?
E
A cloud of malaise doused me in its icy rain.
A
Haha but seriously
E
The veiny grip of night clutched my porous soul.
A
Yeah but actually though
E
Mortality’s scythe itched my delicate nape.
A
Jesus
E
Not even the gracious lord can pierce my cratered affliction with light.
…
A
Have you been reading Poe?
E
Maybe so...
A
The anthology’s gotta go
E
Nay!
A
I’m ripping it in two.
E
Like the House of Usher???
A
Exactly like the House of Usher.
E gasps.
A
Now repeat after me: I will stop reading Poe.
E
I shan’t read my muse any longer.
A
Or I will have to read self-help books.
E
Or face eternal shame and torment.
A
So I will never read Poe.
Ever.
Ever.
Again.
E
Nevermore!
Nevermore!
Nevermore!