Graphing Day

September 30th, 2020

Starring: Jay & Neil (male, 35-50)

Jay’s office/cubicle.  He’s wearing a button down, but also sweatpants.  He’s drafting something, by hand, on a large piece of paper.  Neil pokes his head in, knocking on the side of the door/wall.

NEIL

Hey J-dizzle. Haven’t seen you all day. Care to accompany me to meeting?

JAY

Ha, I’m not going today.  I’m taking the day off, but in-office.

NEIL

Never heard of that. A little work staycation, huh?

JAY

Yep.  It’s graphing day.

NEIL

Hm?

JAY

I take off every last day of each month.

NEIL

To graph—?

JAY

My actions.  Over the month.

Like

Here

...

You divide it into fours.

Quadrant 1 is “Things I did want to do, and didn’t do.”

Quadrant 2 is “Things I did want to do, and did do.”

Quadrant 3 is “Things I didn’t want to do, and didn’t do.”

Quadrant 4 is “Things I didn’t want to do, and did do.”

Then within each quadrant, the y-axis is “importance” and the x-axis is “time.”

NEIL

You come up with this yourself?

JAY

It’s complicated.  Let’s just say I subscribe to a lot of productivity newsletters.

...

So once it’s all drawn out, I start to graph points in my quadrants.

NEIL

You don’t label them?

JAY

Nah, I know what they are.

Then once I’m done plotting, I connect the dots.  

NEIL

And what does that do?

JAY

It makes a picture.  

NEIL

But like what does that do?

JAY

It creates a visual manifestation of my actions.  

This month is...a frog losing his house in a tornado.

See?

NEIL

Oh...yeah.

...

So does it work?  Like have you found now you do more that you did want to do?

JAY

Well no, not always.  It’s not really the point.

NEIL

No?

JAY

The point isn’t the point.  The picture reminds me that I can’t be defined by a singular point. Every action or inaction is a part of a whole.

NEIL

Right.  Cool.

...

Can I be honest with you J?  As a coworker-ish friend?

JAY

Sure.  Fire away.

NEIL

Well...it’s a very slick system and all, but I feel like if you’re pouring all this energy into something, but it doesn’t really push you towards anything productive, then I’d go so far as to say that it’s, well...counterproductive.  

JAY

Sure.  I see how you’d think that.

NEIL

That wasn’t meant to hurt you...but yeah.  Just from the outside…

...

So I gotta run to meeting—

JAY

Hey Neil?  

NEIL

Yep?

JAY

One last thing.

Jay slaps Neil.  It’s not super hard, more shocking than painful.  They both stare at the other, standing in the strangeness.  Neil, embarrassed, breaks away and walks off to the meeting.  Jay watches him go, then sits back down at the graph.  He smiles, drawing another point in Quadrant 2: “Things I did want to do, and did do.”

END OF PLAY

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