Open House
September 26th, 2020
Starring: Rick (male, 40’s), Realtor (30’s)
A finished basement. Realtor is giving Rick the house tour:
REALTOR
So this is the basement. Sellers finished it about a year ago. High ceilings, new fixtures, closet storage, and a full-bath. Perfect space for a man cave or lady cavern.
RICK
This is nice, yeah.
I was thinking I could use it for an office/studio space.
REALTOR
Oh sure!
RICK
Hoping to work from home more, now that I’ve got little kids.
Are these walls load bearing?
REALTOR
Not that I’m aware of.
RICK
That’s great.
I’ve had to patch a few wall holes in my day.
REALTOR
Gotta love kids.
RICK
No, that was work.
...
But I’m really liking this layout. Very flexible.
Hardwood table can go there, the black couch against this wall...maybe there’s space for a pull-out...
How well does the space trap sound?
REALTOR
Hmm...I’m not entirely sure. Pretty well?
RICK
How well is pretty well?
Because for work and things go late and get loud. Big groups, sometimes.
Rather not wake the kids up.
REALTOR
No, absolutely.
RICK
It’s kind of a big deal.
REALTOR
Ok. We can definitely look into that.
RICK
And what’s this door? Storage?
REALTOR
No, that’s actually the boiler room.
RICK
What?
REALTOR
The boiler room?
RICK
You didn’t tell me there was a boiler room.
REALTOR
Sorry, I didn’t think to—
RICK
Nonono that’s fantastic! Any dimly lit space is a great asset. Really valuable for shoots.
REALTOR
You’re in entertainment?
RICK
Film. Like everyone else around here…
REALTOR
Should’ve figured.
Made anything I’d know?
RICK
Hot Wet Silky Booties 4?
That was my first feature.
REALTOR
Ah.
You’re
RICK
Yep.
…
REALTOR
Well I’ll get on that sound insulation situation right away.
RICK
You’re too kind.
The doorbell rings.
REALTOR
Oop! That’s my 12:30. Please feel free to keep peeking around.
RICK
Thanks. Actually I have to get to work myself.
REALTOR
Oh, perfect. I’ll walk you out.
As they walk up the stairs:
REALTOR
But just to clarify...you’re interested in making an offer?
RICK
Ohhh yes.
Very much so.