Open House

September 26th, 2020

Starring: Rick (male, 40’s), Realtor (30’s)

A finished basement.  Realtor is giving Rick the house tour:

REALTOR

So this is the basement.  Sellers finished it about a year ago.  High ceilings, new fixtures, closet storage, and a full-bath.  Perfect space for a man cave or lady cavern.  

RICK

This is nice, yeah.  

I was thinking I could use it for an office/studio space.

REALTOR

Oh sure!

RICK

Hoping to work from home more, now that I’ve got little kids.

Are these walls load bearing?

REALTOR

Not that I’m aware of.

RICK

That’s great.

I’ve had to patch a few wall holes in my day.

REALTOR

Gotta love kids.

RICK

No, that was work.

...

But I’m really liking this layout.  Very flexible.

Hardwood table can go there, the black couch against this wall...maybe there’s space for a pull-out...

How well does the space trap sound?

REALTOR

Hmm...I’m not entirely sure.  Pretty well?

RICK

How well is pretty well?

Because for work and things go late and get loud.  Big groups, sometimes.  

Rather not wake the kids up.

REALTOR

No, absolutely.  

RICK

It’s kind of a big deal.

REALTOR

Ok.  We can definitely look into that.

RICK

And what’s this door?  Storage?

REALTOR

No, that’s actually the boiler room.

RICK

What?

REALTOR

The boiler room?

RICK

You didn’t tell me there was a boiler room.

REALTOR

Sorry, I didn’t think to—

RICK

Nonono that’s fantastic!  Any dimly lit space is a great asset.  Really valuable for shoots.

REALTOR

You’re in entertainment?

RICK

Film.  Like everyone else around here…

REALTOR

Should’ve figured.

Made anything I’d know?

RICK

Hot Wet Silky Booties 4?

That was my first feature.

REALTOR

Ah.

You’re

RICK

Yep.

REALTOR

Well I’ll get on that sound insulation situation right away.

RICK

You’re too kind.

The doorbell rings.

REALTOR

Oop!  That’s my 12:30.  Please feel free to keep peeking around.

RICK

Thanks.  Actually I have to get to work myself.

REALTOR

Oh, perfect.  I’ll walk you out.

As they walk up the stairs:

REALTOR

But just to clarify...you’re interested in making an offer?

RICK

Ohhh yes. 

Very much so.

END OF PLAY

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