Sleight of Hand
September 10th, 2020
Starring: The Magnifico (male, 50/60), Carson (late teens)
The Magnifico magic show, Vegas. A crowd of thousands. Applause and laughs. El Magnifico moves to his next trick:
THE MAGNIFICO
Hey ho, ok, alrighty, ladies and gents. For this next trick, I’m going to need a pen. Does anyone have a pen out there?
A few people put up their hands. The Magnifico scans.
THE MAGNIFICO
You sir. Yes, the young man way in the back. The one in the Tommy Bahama shirt. You have a pen? Can I see it? Perfect, perfect. Would you mind coming to join me up here?
Everyone, would you give him a round of applause please?
The crowd applauds as Carson makes his way onto the stage. He’s skinny, and pimply.
THE MAGNIFICO
Good evening to you sir. What’s your name?
CARSON
Carson.
THE MAGNIFICO
Carson. Lovely name, Carson, pleased to meet you. Very nice handshake you got there. Are you enjoying the show?
CARSON
Very much so.
THE MAGNIFICO
And are you with anyone this evening?
CARSON
Oh, uh, no. I’m here alone.
THE MAGNIFICO
Alone? Did you miss the field trip bus, or something?
The audience laughs.
CARSON
I actually came in from Iowa. I saved up to see you!
The audience awws.
THE MAGNIFICO
All the way to see me? Well thank you Carson, that’s quite touching.
And look at us! You and me, here under the lights!
…
So. Carson. Right here I have a brand new pack of sealed playing cards. Can you confirm to everyone else that they indeed are sealed?
Carson nods.
THE MAGNIFICO
Good, thank you Carson. So Carson, what I’d now like you to do for me now is open the pack of cards, select two cards at random from the deck, show those cards to the audience, and write your signature with your pen on one of the two cards. Got it?
CARSON
Got it.
THE MAGNIFICO
Meanwhile, don’t mind me, I’ll be blindfolded over here. Let me know when you’ve done that, ok?
Carson does as asked. He selects the King of Diamonds and the Two of Spades. He signs the King.
THE MAGNIFICO
All set there Carson?
CARSON
Yes.
THE MAGNIFICO
Great. Now I’d like for you to hand me your pen and hold out the card you didn’t sign.
Carson does so. The Magnifico scrawls an X on the Two of Spades.
THE MAGNIFICO
Fabulous. Now one last thing, Carson. I need you to place the cards at random inside the deck, then give it a shuffle, a cut, a jumble, anything you’d like to make sure the deck is nice and random and your cards are hidden. And when you feel like you’re all set, you’re free to hand me the deck.
Carson follows. He hands the deck to The Magnifico, who faces the crowd, blindfolded.
THE MAGNIFICO
Ok lovely people. Here we go. I want you all to watch very closely, because three very spectacular things are about to occur: One, I am going to find Carson’s signed card inside the deck. Two, I am going to find my signed card inside the deck. And three, both of those cards will become one card that has fused together while inside the deck.
Don’t believe me? Just watch.
A buzzy silence. The Magnifico’s hands work their magic over the deck. After a few moments, he smiles.
THE MAGNIFICO
Mm. There’s one.
More hand magic. Another smile.
THE MAGNIFICO
Uh-huh. There’s two.
...
Aaaand.
The Magnifico snaps, then slowly produces a card from the deck. He shows the signed King side of the card to Carson.
THE MAGNIFICO
Carson. Dear sir, would this be your card?
…
CARSON
That is my card!
The audience oos.
THE MAGNIFICO
And Mr. Carson. If you could be so kind...
Would this be my card?
The Magnifico flips the card over.
…
CARSON
Uh
No.
…
THE MAGNIFICO
Come on Carson. No need to pull my leg! Give the good people what they want!
CARSON
It’s um. It’s not a joke.
You signed the Two of Spades. That’s the Four of Spades.
The Magnifico loses his smile for a second. He slides off the blindfold to look for himself. It’s true. The Magnifico leafs through the entire deck, but the Two of Spades is nowhere to be found. The Magnifico stares blankly into the audience. The audience stares back. He saves himself with a signature smile:
THE MAGNIFICO
Well my friends, sometimes even the best can get tricked.
Everyone please give a big thank you to Carson!
The audience recovers with a big round of applause, but the energy’s different.
Cut to the stage door, post show. The Magnifico, no longer in show clothes, exits from the side stage door, signing a few autographs before heading for his Cadillac in the parking lot. Carson calls after him.
CARSON
Excuse me?
Magnifico!
...
Excuse me?
Hey!
The Magnifico stops and turns.
THE MAGNIFICO
Can I help you?
CARSON
It’s Carson. From earlier.
THE MAGNIFICO
Oh, hey! How are ya bud?
CARSON
I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed the show. Even with the—
THE MAGNIFICO
Suresuresure. Thanks for being a fan.
The Magnifico turns back around and walks to the car.
CARSON
I um
I have your card.
The Magnifico freezes and turns.
THE MAGNIFICO
Pardon me?
CARSON
Your card. I have it right here. Want it?
Carson takes out the signed Two of Spades from under his Tommy Bahama polo sleeve.
THE MAGNIFICO
Where did you—
CARSON
I took it. Right under your nose. In front of everyone’s noses, really.
Nothing a little sleight of hand can’t fix, right? You ought to know, you invented it.
THE MAGNIFICO
It was you?
CARSON
Don’t sound so surprised. I had a lot of time to practice. Field trip ran long.
THE MAGNIFICO
Who are you?
CARSON
The kid who’s about to end your residency.
The Magnifico does a spit take.
CARSON
Go ahead. But the new wave’s coming. Tonight was just a reminder.
THE MAGNIFICO
Threats. Quite the illusion.
CARSON
It’s only the beginning. There’ll be more if you don’t step down.
Might as well do the disappearing act now.
THE MAGNIFICO
Well. Alright then.
Better buckle up you little shit.
CARSON
Already strapped in, old fart.
Enjoy it now. It’s all about to go poof.
A puff of smoke. Carson vanishes, leaving The Magnifico and his Cadillac caked in dust.