Super-move
September 15th, 2020
Starring: Super (older) & Sidekick (younger)
Super’s cavernous HQ, night. The control room is stacked with piles of cardboard boxes, each with their own labels written in sharpie. Visible labels include “CARHARTT KEVLAR,” “CARBON FIBER ROCKING CHAIRS (FOR VERANDA),” and “GRITS.”
Super is in a folding chair, reading the newspaper. Sidekick enters, holding two more boxes.
SIDEKICK
Which pile?
Super points to one, without turning around. Sidekick drops both boxes down.
SIDEKICK
Okay. I think we’re all set.
…
You haven’t discontinued the paper yet?
SUPER
I wanted to stay up to date.
SIDEKICK
Bad idea, we thought.
SUPER
Horrible.
Crime rate’s tripled since we stopped. Only a matter of time before some new mastermind appears…
SIDEKICK
One of us will too. It’s a big city, someone will step up.
SUPER
I hope they don’t suck.
SIDEKICK
It’s a risk.
SUPER
Did you want it?
SIDEKICK
The big job…? No.
I mean, sure, maybe in the future, but not now now.
I’m glad I’m going. I’m psyched for this.
SUPER
I’ve never seen a cornfield.
SIDEKICK
We’ll get sick of them. Along with Waffle House robbers, maybe the occasional mail stealer.
SUPER
I’m leaving that to you.
SIDEKICK
Too petty?
SUPER
You need the practice. I need the time for the big stuff.
SIDEKICK
Interrogating 17 year old opioid dealers under stadium bleachers?
SUPER
It all has to be coming from somewhere.
SIDEKICK
Does that mean we eventually blow up big pharma?
…
Nevermind. I know that’s a villain thing.
…
Oh no.
SUPER
What?
SIDEKICK
I know that face. That’s your “having second thoughts” face.
SUPER
I can’t help wondering if they’ll want to be saved.
SIDEKICK
If they think Jesus can…
SUPER
No savior complexes. We’re escaping that.
We’re just trying to help.
SIDEKICK
We will. Courage begins with a first step.
SUPER
Who said that?
SIDEKICK
You.
SUPER
When?
SIDEKICK
I don’t know. In some comic book.
SUPER
I never—
SIDEKICK
Dude. Just go with it.
…
Long drive tomorrow. See you bright and early.
SUPER
‘Night.
Sidekick exits. Super surveys the room of boxes, frowning, then presses a button on the wall. A blowup air mattress emerges from a floor panel, auto-inflating. Super falls onto the bed as the lights dim. From the dark:
SUPER
What the fuck am I doing?