Movendber
November 30th, 2020
Starring: Omar (male, early 20’s), Raphael (male, early 20’s)
A picnic bench at the local park. Omar sits at one side, Raphael the other. They both wear balaclavas over their faces:
RAPHAEL
Well
Looks like we made it
OMAR
A month is a long time
RAPHAEL
We were doing Thanksgiving photos and my mom wanted to kill me
OMAR
Must look pretty bad
RAPHAEL
She just doesn’t like change
OMAR
Yeah that must be it
RAPHAEL
I can’t imagine yours is much better
OMAR
It’s all in relation to yours
RAPHAEL
Then show me
OMAR
You go first
RAPHAEL
Someone's insecure
OMAR
It was your idea
RAPHAEL
Who cares
OMAR
Just go
RAPHAEL
We’ll both go. Show at the same time.
OMAR
Ok now?
RAPHAEL
Yeah
3
2
1
Show
They both pull down their balaclavas. Both of their facial hair situations are bad, but in different ways. They look at the other, surveying, trying not to laugh.
OMAR
Wow
RAPHAEL
Yeah
OMAR
Bad
RAPHAEL
I know
OMAR
I was talking about yours
RAPHAEL
If mine’s bad, yours is...what’s lower than atrocious?
OMAR
Yours. It’s horrid. Like someone drew on your face with the faded yellow crayola
RAPHAEL
Yours is like, patchy. Quilted. I think my great aunt sewed your face.
OMAR
Dust Bowl era cornfield face
RAPHAEL
Your face is the La Brea tar pits if it were hair
OMAR
Ok prepubescent Bob Ross
RAPHAEL
Fine Wolverine in chemotherapy
…
RAPHAEL
Question
OMAR
Yes please shave it
RAPHAEL
Did doing this make you feel more manly?
…
…
OMAR
No
I kind of feel less
RAPHAEL
Way less. Why did we do it?
OMAR
To raise awareness—?
RAPHAEL
Come on
OMAR
Yeah no it was for me
RAPHAEL
I felt this massive pressure to try
OMAR
To prove that I could do it
RAPHAEL
That I was man enough
OMAR
So in trying to be the most manly
RAPHAEL
We exposed the same pitfalls of manliness that got us here
…
OMAR
Dang
I think we just solved toxic masculinity
RAPHAEL
Yeah
We’re being so vulnerable right now
…
RAPHAEL
Your face still makes me want to throw up
But
I love you
OMAR
I think I lost years of my life looking at your face
But
I love you too
They share the moment of breakthrough, until they really can’t tolerate looking at the other’s face. They pull their balaclavas back on, and go their separate ways.