‘Round the Sun
December 31st, 2020
Starring: The Astronaut
Space. The Astronaut sits in their mini-capsule. They turn on the camera:
THE ASTRONAUT
Okay…
This is captain’s vlog 1-2-3-1-2-0.
Not too much to report here just uh...chilling by the window, waiting for the ball to drop.
...
Now granted, this ball has never dropped in its billions of years of existence, but given how this year’s gone, nothing would really surprise me.
So I’ve heard. I’ve been up here since February, so I kind of missed the whole...
But I’ve been doing a lot of the same things: Staying indoors, covering my face, keeping my distance.
...
A lot of distance.
...
I don’t mean to make light of it. I’m not there. You know sometimes, I think I am. I’ll wake up and I’ll be like “where am I?” and then I’ll look out and see that, and I say, “oh right, I’m here. How did that happen?”
And then I laugh, because it’s funny. Not funny like ha-ha funny, but funny. Difficult, strange. How so much can change. How much I can adapt to it, how much I can’t. How otherworldly it all feels.
I can relate, is what I’m saying. Or I’m trying to. It doesn’t help that no matter what goes on down there, everything looks the same from up here. Everything’s changing, but I can’t see it. I also find that funny.
But maybe the funniest thing of all is that I’ve spent ten months staring at the world, and haven’t come up with a single significant thing to say.
After nearly ten months of quiet and solitude, you’d think there’d be an epiphany tucked in there but uh...nope. Just space.
...
For my birthday this year, Houston relayed me some video messages. I even got one from my grandma, who’s been airlocked in her nursing home since March. At the end of the video, she said, “I miss you, but I’m glad you’re not here, because everything feels like it’s ended.”
...
I’m sure it has. For some people, it really ended this year. And for most, it ended without ever seeing a different part of the world, let alone the whole thing at once. But here I am.
And the only thing I can think to offer is...the world has not ended. Even if it has, even if it feels like it has. I can see it, it’s turning. It’s turning, it’s going to keep turning, and it’s going to turn a whole lot longer than you or me or anything going on on it. The world is going to keep going. And it doesn’t mean you’re worthless, it doesn’t mean you’re meaningless, it just means you’re small. From here, you are. We all are.
...
I don’t know if that sounds entitled or hopeful or depressing. It can be all the above, if you want it to. Whatever bubble you circle, whatever worldview fits your fancy, I accept. We’re just doing what we can to get through it. And in the face of it all, we did.
So to that, I raise a glass.
The Astronaut raises a space food juice box:
Cheers. To another one ‘round the sun.
The Astronaut slurps. Blip out. End transmission.