Food Chain
April 11th, 2021
Starring: Founder 1, Founder 2, 1, 2, 3
A small office. 1, 2, and 3 sit at their desks, typing away. From the entrance, Founder 1 and 2 come into the main room, bringing out something under a cloth. They place it on an empty desk, then stand to face their employees.
FOUNDER 1
Hey everyone...could we have your attention?
1, 2, and 3 stop working and look up.
FOUNDER 1
We have some great news we’d like to share with you.
FOUNDER 2
But first, we wanted to share how proud we are of everyone in this room.
Over the last three years, you’ve taken our vision and brought it to life. I know it hasn’t been easy, but we’ve grinded as hard as anyone. We are working proof small truly is mighty.
FOUNDER 1
That’s right!
Which is why we’re proud to announce that…
FOUNDER 1/FOUNDER 2
We’re being acquired!
The Founders remove the cloth, revealing a large sheet cake. The cake has the words “We Did It!” written in icing. The employees stare.
1
Huh?
FOUNDER 2
Well technically, it’s a merger—
2
Acquired?
3
Acquired?!
1
By who?
FOUNDER 1
PM.
1
PM...
2
PM?
3
PM!
FOUNDER 1
I know it won’t be just us anymore, but this is the right move. A bigger team means more minds, which means more business!
FOUNDER 2
Not to mention PM has been our primary local competition. Now that we’re on the same side, we get a greater market share.
2
But if PM is our size, how did they get the capital to acquire us?
FOUNDER 1
Oh.
Well PM’s getting acquired too.
1
Huh?
FOUNDER 2
Well merging, technically—
2
Acquired?
3
Acquired?!
1
By who?
FOUNDER 2
JMJ.
1
JMJ…
2
JMJ?
3
JMJ?! They’re the biggest in the state!
FOUNDER 1
Don’t worry, we’re still operating independently.
FOUNDER 2
Right. Only as a subsidiary under PM.
1
But wait...isn’t JMJ a regional subsidiary too?
2
Is it?
3
It can’t—
FOUNDER 1
It is.
FOUNDER 2
It is.
1
Of who?!
FOUNDER 1
BYW, GLP, & D.
...
1
Oh my god—
2
You’re joking—
3
They’re a national behemoth!
1
What happened to the small but mighty?
2
Hungry and scrappy?
3
We’re sellouts!
FOUNDER 1
Alright! Um
We’re sorry we weren’t entirely honest with you. We didn’t want to scare anyone from the getgo.
FOUNDER 2
And we still maintain that everything here is going to feel the same! Just, you know, a little bigger.
FOUNDER 1
A teensy.
FOUNDER 2
A teensy weensy.
FOUNDER 1
A teensy teensy weensy!
FOUNDER 2
And that’s where it ends.
FOUNDER 1
Yes! That is as big as we get.
FOUNDER 2
Now who wants some cake?!
Nobody moves. 1, 2, and 3 are now on their phones, doing some Googling:
1
Uh
I hate to break it to y’all but
It gets bigger.
FOUNDER 1
Huh?
2
Yeah.
I’m seeing that BYW, GLP, & D isn’t independent. It’s controlled by something called...BLUECORP?
FOUNDER 2
Never heard of it.
3
Well it says here that BLUECORP is “a privately-held international conglomerate with holdings in over 20 diversified industries and enterprises.”
FOUNDER 1
Sorry, where are you seeing this?
1
Wikipedia.
FOUNDER 2
Well anyone could—
2
And Forbes—
FOUNDER 2
The mainstream media doesn’t—
3
And BYW, GLP, & D’s website. At the bottom, see?
3 holds out the phone. The Founders look, and try not to outwardly deflate.
3
Looks like we’re swallowed by the biggest fish in the sea.
…
…
FOUNDER 1
Well
Erm
There’s always a silver lining, heheh...
FOUNDER 2
Yes! At least we know now!
1
Actually—
FOUNDER 1/FOUNDER 2
What?!
1
The description said BLUECORP’s privately held—
2
And it’s undisclosed who the holder is—
3
Soo...we have no clue who we’re working for.
And we probably never will.
Everyone sits in it. The Founders are frozen, the employees repulsed.
After a few moments, 1 sighs, shrugs, and goes to cut a piece of cake.
1
Back to it, I guess.
1 then walks back to their desk, starting to work again. 2 and 3 follow suit, then the Founders. Everyone eats in the discomfort. On the cake, the “We Did It!” remains iced and intact.