Knead

March 18th, 2021

Starring: Player (late teens, early 20’s), Game (40-55), Player 2 (late teens, early 20’s)

A hotel suite living room.  Two couches facing each other, with a small table in-between.  On the table, there’s a stark white business card.  Player (in athletic wear) sits on the couch across from Game (suit/pantsuit), who sits on the opposite couch, hands interlaced:

GAME 

I’m going to keep it 100, because that’s the only way I know. 

I make money off you. 

That’s my job.   

I make bread off your dough.  And by dough, I don’t mean dough as in cha-ching dough, I mean dough as in you.  Your ability, raw talent, all of it.

But I don’t make bread until you make bread.  And by bread, I don’t mean bread as in moolah bread, I mean bread as in dough that has risen to become an irresistible loaf of goodness that fans, advertisers, and the execs want a piece of.   

And believe me, they’re hungry for it. 

Difficulty is, you can't make bread with just raw dough.  There are other components.  Flour, salt, yeast, heat, time.  That's what I offer.  I’m a one-stop bake shop.  Highest quality ingredients, guaranteed.   

But being the quality of dough you are, it would be wrong for me to assume you can’t make bread independently from me.  There’s plenty of other great bakers out there.  I'm sure you’ve met quite a few by now.  So you might be wondering what makes my bakery different.   

And it’s simple.  I knead my dough. 

I’m a kneader.  I knead to live, I live to knead.  Every dough is unique; how I roll it, work it, stretch it for everything it’s worth.  That takes time.  Effort.  It takes a helluva lot of care, but I do it.  That’s what makes my bread the best bread.  I knead it. 

And that’s why you need me.    

… 

… 

PLAYER 

Every one of you has said that.  I need you. 

... 

I don’t know.  Maybe ten years ago, I would’ve.  But now? 

I've got Instagram direct messages, a calendar app, a brain.  My uncle’s a lawyer.  I can do everything you do.   

GAME 

You can’t knead yourself. 

PLAYER 

I don’t need kneading to make bread. 

GAME 

Have you ever tried no-knead bread? 

PLAYER 

Tastes just as good to me. 

GAME 

Hm. 

I understand why you’d think that, where you are.   

But I can tell the difference.  There’s a different look, smell, taste.  Anyone who's not raw dough will tell you that. 

But likely, they won’t.  They’ll stay silent as they rip hunks out of you, devouring your worth.  And when you finally notice they’re feasting and you’ve got crumbs, you’ll want to be kneaded.  But by then, it’s too late.  You’re toast.  

For the bread you could be, pay the baker.  You only get one shot with your dough. 

... 

Not a threat.  Just keeping it 100. 

Game watches as Player sits with this, thinking inward, playing out the future Game has described.  Game breaks the silence by checking their phone from their pocket.

GAME 

I’m sorry I gotta take this. 

Game gets up and offers Player their hand.

GAME 

But this has been great.  Really great. 

Player, still a bit dazed, shakes Game’s hand.

PLAYER 

I appreciate it.  The honesty— 

GAME 

Only because I appreciate you.   

If you’re still in town later this week, let’s get breakfast.  I know a spot.   

PLAYER 

...ok.  Do I call you or— 

GAME  

You’ve got my number.  But Instagram DMs work too.   

Your call. 

Game nods a goodbye and leaves the suite.  They check their phone as they walk down the hallway.  No calls or missed calls.  Game reaches another door at the end of the hall and knocks twice, then opens the door.  It's another identical suite, with Player 2 sitting on the same couch.  Game walks in with a smile, going to shake Player 2’s hand.

GAME 

Hey hey how are you? 

PLAYER 2 

Ok, you? 

GAME 

Oh, busy busy busy.  But you are too, so let’s cut to it. 

Game takes out another stark white business card and puts it on the table, then sits down on the other couch, interlacing their hands:

GAME 

I’m going to keep it 100, because that’s the only way I know. 

I make money off you.... 

END OF PLAY

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