No Filter
March 11th, 2021
Starring: Kellie (female, mid/late 20’s), Aunt Lin (female, 60’s)
Arrival day of staycation: Kellie’s apartment, early evening. Clean, modern, part of a big new housing complex. Most of the furniture is IKEA, or from Wayfair. Aunt Lin sits on the living-area couch (with a pullout bed, where she’ll sleep). Her small carry-on bag is near the front door. Kellie is in the kitchen, starting to mise en place ingredients for dinner.
KELLIE
So you approve?
AUNT LIN
I can’t hear you—
KELLIE (a little louder)
Do you approve? Of the place?
AUNT LIN
Oh, sure. You see all these places being built, but I’ve never been in one. Homier than expected.
KELLIE
The open floorplan’s good for me. And it’s close to work, once we go back.
AUNT LIN
You must be paying more.
KELLIE
I am. But with the amenities—
AUNT LIN
Do they have a gym?
KELLIE
Yes.
AUNT LIN
Pool?
KELLIE
Yes.
AUNT LIN
Steam room?
KELLIE
…don’t think so.
AUNT LIN
That’s too bad. It’s great for the skin. Your cells.
KELLIE
All things considered, I think it’s a pretty good deal.
AUNT LIN
We always do. Family nature.
KELLIE
You can’t take that out of us, no.
…
KELLIE
That was a lot of driving for you. Four hours…
AUNT LIN
I didn’t want stop. The bathrooms—
KELLIE
No, I’m glad.
You should take a power nap. So you can stay up for the movie tonight.
AUNT LIN
Eh. I’ll be ok.
What are we watching?
KELLIE
Whatever you want.
AUNT LIN
Something funny. There’s nothing funny anymore.
KELLIE
Sounds like a plan.
Aunt Lin starts to get up.
KELLIE
What do you need?
AUNT LIN
Some water—?
KELLIE
Stay there, I’ll grab it.
Kellie gets a glass from the cabinet and fills it up in the sink.
KELLIE
Ice?
AUNT LIN
Do you have crushed?
KELLIE
Just the cube trays.
AUNT LIN
No need then.
…
Too bad you don’t have one of those on the fridge dispensers. That thing changed my life.
Mine filters the water too, which is good. You need that.
KELLIE
You can’t have everything, I guess.
AUNT LIN
Do you have one of those other filters? The jugs?
KELLIE
Nope.
AUNT LIN
What do you get your water from?
KELLIE
The tap.
…
Is that bad?
AUNT LIN
Well…I’ve read a lot about how even though it’s treated, how much plastics and metals can show up in it. Compared to filtered.
KELLIE
The water here’s fine. Better than home.
AUNT LIN
I can still taste the difference. No matter where I get it, I can taste the gunk now.
…
KELLIE
Well I don’t have a filter. So if you want water…
AUNT LIN
I do want water.
…
KELLIE
Sorry, I’m confused. Do you want this water or not?
AUNT LIN
It’s not filtered?
KELLIE
It’s tap.
AUNT LIN
I…if I have to. But if you have anything else—
Kellie open the fridge, looking:
KELLIE
I have…1% milk, a beer…and there’s some coconut water—
AUNT LIN
Coconut water’s good.
KELLIE
You want that instead?
AUNT LIN
Yes.
But half. I don’t want all that sugar.
KELLIE
Okay.
Kellie gets a new glass, then pours half the coconut water carton into the glass. She leaves the glass of tap water on the counter.
AUNT LIN
I’m gonna order you one.
KELLIE
One what?
AUNT LIN
A jug filter. They’re always on sale.
KELLIE
You don’t have to do that.
AUNT LIN
But I want to do it.
KELLIE
But I don’t need it—
AUNT LIN
Please. Let me.
Kellie raises her hands, as in “you win.” She brings over the glass of coconut water.
AUNT LIN
Thank you.
While you’re up, in that side zipper, there’s a pill thing, can you—
KELLIE
Here?
Aunt Lin nods. Kellie zips open the zipper and pulls out one of those Monday-Friday pill containers. She hands it to Aunt Lin, who pops one of the days and shakes about seven pills into her palm. Kellie tries to hide her alarm:
KELLIE
Are all of those prescriptions?
AUNT LIN
These two.
KELLIE
What are the rest?
AUNT LIN
Supplements.
KELLIE
Where are you getting them?
AUNT LIN
The store. They’re all natural.
B12, Vitamin D, Lemongrass, Krill Oil. They’re immune system boosters. You should try them too.
KELLIE
I’m ok.
AUNT LIN
It’s not just older people that need them. Everyone’s deficient—
KELLIE
I know.
It’s just anytime I see all the pills and vitamins I get worried.
AUNT LIN
It’s fine.
KELLIE
But what if the mix messes with your prescription? I’m not saying it is, but what if?
AUNT LIN
I feel better. It’s making a difference.
KELLIE
But how would you know—?
AUNT LIN
Because I’m careful. I really am in control.
KELLIE
Okay.
…
I’m sorry I—this is all new. All the health nut stuff.
AUNT LIN
I’m not. Not really. I’ve just had more time to read and to watch and…with the world I…I realized I could do more. To be careful.
…
You know my haircutter? She was 44. 44 and healthy and she—
KELLIE
Yeah. I remember you telling me—
AUNT LIN
So it doesn’t take much—
KELLIE
Yeah. Yeah, it’s awful.
…
…
But I’m glad you decided to come. Getting out somewhere, not alone.
AUNT LIN
Yes. It’s been a year, I think I’ve needed it.
KELLIE
For your health.
It’ll be the best staycation ever, I promise you.
AUNT LIN
I’m counting on it.
Aunt Lin pulls out her phone and taps her screen a few times. She furrows her brow:
KELLIE
All ok?
AUNT LIN
Oh yeah.
The filter’s arriving tomorrow.
KELLIE
That was fast.
AUNT LIN
I paid extra to overnight.
Kellie smiles, slightly rolling her eyes.
AUNT LIN
What, we need it! We can’t be drinking coconut water all weekend…
KELLIE
If you say so…
Aunt Lin takes her last pill and finishes the coconut water. Kellie takes her glass and walks it back to the sink. Kellie looks at the full glass of tap water, still on the counter. She sneaks a drink. Placebo or not, it tastes a little…gunky.