Residual
January 17th, 2021
Starring: Monique (female, mid 40’s), Wyatt (male, late 20’s/early 30’s)
Late morning. The front entrance of Wyatt’s apartment. Wyatt is in the hallway, vacuuming in a white tee and sweatpants. Monique, in her USPS uniform, walks up the driveway, towards the mail slot in the glass front door. Wyatt shuts off the vacuum and walks to the door, talking through it:
WYATT
‘Morning Monique!
MONIQUE
Nice to see you Wyatt!
WYATT
Nice new year?
MONIQUE
Ok, no complaining. How’s the grind going?
WYATT
Better. Totally better. I uh...got a commercial!
MONIQUE
What?
WYATT
Yeah! It was an open call, so I sent in a video. They said they liked my look, one thing turned into another, and I got it!
MONIQUE
So I can see you on TV?
WYATT
You will. It’s for a depression medication. National spot!
MONIQUE
Oh really?
WYATT
Yeah, ironic. I kinda didn’t have to act at all!
MONIQUE
I’m happy for you.
WYATT
I mean it’s not what I got my MFA for, but it’s something. Actual checks! I’m getting real mail now, Monique. I’m movin’ up!
MONIQUE
I noticed. You’ve been getting a lot more.
WYATT
They’re called residuals. I get paid, but then I get paid every time it airs.
MONIQUE
So every time you’re on TV, you get a check?
WYATT
Pretty much.
MONIQUE
Man. I got into the wrong business.
WYATT
Last month we agreed I was in the wrong business.
MONIQUE
Tables turn, Wyatt. Enjoy yours.
WYATT
I’m tryin’, I’m tryin’...
Now that money’s ok for a bit, I’m thinking about getting back to the real stuff. Shakespeare, Greek tragedy. I’m thinking about trying out for this Hamlet in the Berkshires—
MONIQUE
Does it pay the same?
WYATT
Ha! Yeah, no. Not even close.
MONIQUE
So why would you do it?
WYATT
It’s real acting. It’s what I’m meant to do.
MONIQUE
Seems like you’re meant to do depression commercials.
WYATTi
But...it’s not my thing.
MONIQUE
Could be. That’s where the money is, isn’t it?
…
Wyatt, I’m not one of those “money doesn't buy happiness” people.
But I sure as hell know it’ll get you closer.
Monique takes Wyatt’s mail and puts it through the mail slot. It hits the floor.
MONIQUE
See you on TV!
Monique waves and turns down the pavement, towards her next residence. Even though she’s moved on, Wyatt stands and waves:
WYATT
...bye Monique!
Wyatt picks up his mail off the floor. He flips through it and finds two envelopes, with residual checks enclosed. He smiles, then frowns. He puts the envelopes in his sweatpants, then turns back on the vacuum. He vacuums. He contemplates.