Roadkill
April 21st, 2021
Starring: A, B, The Nude
The rural backcountry. No service, rocky roads. A (driver) and B (passenger) are in hiking gear, peering through the windshield of their SUV:
B
Think we passed it?
A
I haven’t seen any turnoffs.
B
You’d think they’d have signs...
A
I like that they don’t. Keep the best trails hidden, you know? For those willing to look…?
B
So long as we find it...
They keep driving along, unsure, but going ahead anyways. Then:
B
Waitwaitgobackgoback!
A
Hm?
B
Stop there was an opening
We just passed it
B turns and points to a narrow dirt road, trailing off right.
A
You think—?
B
The guidebook said it would be hard to find.
A puts the car in reverse and backs up to the road entrance, then turns that way.
As they drive through, neither spots the wooden sign staked near the entrance, which reads “Welcome to Llewyn Naturist Reserve.”
They drive in silence, looking ahead.
B
It is kind of nice.
The uncertainty. The adventure in finding it.
A
Exactly.
Work to find nature, nature will find you.
After another little while, they pass by another wooden sign. This time, it’s the outline of a human, with the words “Nude Xing” below it. B notices it.
B
Uh
Did you see that?
A
The sign?
Deer crossing. I’ll be careful.
B
It said nude.
A
I saw deer.
B
Ok yeah, but it wasn’t deer, it was nude.
A
It’s fine—
B
We should turn around—
A
It’s fine—
B
We’re going the wrong—
A
Stop—!
B
TURN AROUND—!
WHAM.
In a quick blur, The Nude bursts from the trees, attempting to run across the road. They don’t make it across in time, instead ramming straight into the SUV. The impact pushes the figure onto the front of the car. For a brief moment, their naked front is plastered onto the windshield, but the forward momentum of the car pushes their body up and over the SUV, landing on the ground behind the vehicle. A and B scream, as A slams on the brakes.
Silence. A and B freeze, catching their breath. They stare at one another, too stunned to even speak. They unclip their seatbelts and open their doors, walking towards The Nude on the ground. The Nude is motionless. A bends down, gingerly checking for a pulse. B ooks on, mortified:
B
Are they…?
A gives a slow nod, standing back up. B turns away, unable to look, only to see that A is walking back towards the car.
B
Where are you going?
A
We’re turning around. Like you wanted.
B
What?
A
We’re going. Before someone comes.
B
Are you kidding?
We—we can’t just leave.
A
Why not?
B
They’re human. They’re not some deer we clipped.
A
I honestly don’t see a difference.
B
Then you’re blind!
I don’t care if they like wearing clothes or not. You don’t leave someone’s body like that. You can’t! It’s not human!
A
This is human! It’s unfortunate! And messy! And sad!
I don’t like that it happens, but it happens. It’s nature.
If he came out here to be free, one with the animal kingdom, he should be treated like it.
...
Unless you want to wait. Get charged with a vehicular manslaughter.
B stays where they are.
A
Your choice.
If the car starts, I’m going.
A gets back in the car. It revs back up. Despite the narrow road, A manages to maneuver a three-point turn, now facing the way they came in. They pull the SUV up closer to B, who’s still standing there. A puts the car in park, idling. B stares at A in the car, then manages a quick look down at The Nude. They swallow the lump in their throat, then get in the passenger seat. A looks over at B. B stares right back. A moment. Then:
B
Go on.
Punch it.
A steers the car around the center of the road and steps on the gas, leaving The Nude in the dust.