Rover

March 5th, 2021

Starring: Pierre (male, 50’s), Rich (male, 50’s)

Lunchtime.  The ground floor bathroom of corporate.  Four urinals (with the divider walls), three stalls, two sinks.  Rich is at the far left urinal, with a lunchbag/box hanging off his shoulder.  A few moments later, Pierre comes in.  He sees Rich facing away, but isn’t sure it’s him.  

PIERRE 

Rich? 

Rich turns his head, a bit startled:

RICH 

Oh  

uh 

Hey Pierre! 

PIERRE 

Sorry to— 

RICH 

No that’s ok.  How you been? 

Pierre then goes up to the far right urinal, facing away.  As they talk, they will occasionally look over at the other one, but try not to make too much eye contact:

PIERRE 

Fine.  How’s the family? 

RICH 

Everyone’s doing fine. 

PIERRE 

How old’s your daughter now?  8th grade? 

RICH 

She’s a Junior. 

PIERRE 

Oh Junior, wow.  High school.  Goes fast. 

RICH 

Imagine being me. 

... 

And your life? 

PIERRE 

Ah you know.  Hardly working, working hard. 

RICH 

Sounds about right. 

A pause.  Maybe a light trickle sound.  Rich tries to keep the momentum going:

RICH 

So...did you see any of this Mars stuff?  The rover? 

PIERRE 

Uh...I saw some clips. 

RICH 

Pretty incredible. 

PIERRE 

Very red. 

RICH 

No kidding. 

Seems like they’re getting a lot of new data though.   

Trying to get people there by 2030.  Start a colony.  Can you imagine? 

PIERRE 

That’s not a rumor? 

RICH 

No, they’re actually gonna do it. 

... 

PIERRE 

Well, it’s nice to know where my taxes are going. 

RICH 

Haha, hey, you gotta know what else is out there.  Earth won’t be around forever. 

PIERRE 

We'll be gone by then... 

RICH 

But all with all the climate shenanigans...the next 30-odd years...who knows. 

PIERRE 

Even then, we can’t shuttle everyone to Mars.   

RICH 

Things change fast. 

PIERRE 

Not that fast.   

I mean I love the concept, but we’re putting all these resources into sustaining life elsewhere, when most can’t sustain themselves here.   

RICH 

That’s why we gotta start now.  See what’s possible out there, so we can regulate the population and conserve the planet.  For the next generations. 

PIERRE 

I guess that’s the bargain.  The current generations pay so the future ones don’t. 

RICH 

Well...yeah, I’d kinda like my kids to have a life.  Keep humanity going...? 

Maybe you don’t— 

PIERRE 

No I do. I do.

Maybe I just can't sympathize the same.  No offspring and all, heheh. 

Another full pause.  Maybe another light trickle sound.

RICH 

I didn’t mean to start with the whole— 

PIERRE 

No that’s alright— 

RICH 

I just thought the rover was cool. 

PIERRE 

It is.  It is cool. 

With this, Rich buttons his pants and flushes the urinal, walking to the sinks.  Pierre does the same.  They start to wash their hands.

PIERRE 

We should grab lunch sometime.  Or a beer. 

I know you got family at home but— 

RICH 

I’m game.  I'll look at my schedule, shoot you a text.   

PIERRE 

Just let me know. 

RICH 

Great. 

Rich finishes washing his hands, gives them a shake, and wipes his hands on his pants.

RICH 

Good to see you Pierre.  Take it easy. 

PIERRE 

Yeah.  Likewise.  

Rich nods and walks out.  Pierre finishes washing, then grabs a paper towel and dries.  He smiles to himself as he pushes back out, into the world.

END OF PLAY

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