The Hills
April 2nd, 2021
Starring: Romulus and Remus (male, 20-30)
753 BC. A steep rocky outcrop, overlooking a valley below. There’s a few tall hills, with a river running through the land. Romulus appears, staring out with wonder. He shouts backwards:
ROMULUS
Rem—!
REMUS (voice)
What?
ROMULUS
Come here!
REMUS (voice)
My sandal broke—
ROMULUS
Right now!!
Remus appears, holding his broken sandal. Romulus points to one of the taller hills.
ROMULUS
There.
That hill.
You see it, right?
REMUS
Mmm...
ROMULUS
That’s it. That’s our spot.
…
No?
REMUS
Uh
ROMULUS
Don’t tell me you’re not in on this.
REMUS
I mean it’s...it’s not bad.
ROMULUS
Not bad? What’s bad about it?
You can’t even name one thing.
REMUS
You’re not letting me think.
ROMULUS
If you have to think, there’s your answer! Accept you feel it too!
REMUS
I do feel something. I’m just not sure that’s it. Like that hill’s THE spot.
ROMULUS
Why?
REMUS
We can’t start an entire city on feeling. There’s criteria. Logical pillars to successful civilization.
ROMULUS
There’s water, high ground, land to grow. Weather’s nice, no invaders.
What box is this not checking?
REMUS
Something’s still telling me no.
ROMULUS
What?
REMUS
I don’t know.
ROMULUS
I do.
...
It’s because I found it.
REMUS
No—
ROMULUS
Keep denying it, that’s fine.
REMUS
That’s not it—
ROMULUS
But you know it is. I found it, and that flares up your insecurities—
REMUS
That’s not—
ROMULUS
It’s sad.
REMUS
Stop—
ROMULUS
This is a win for both of us. We can share it, why can’t we share it?
REMUS
It’s not even..!
Do you know what it is? It’s the hill.
ROMULUS
Oh the hill?
REMUS
Yep. That hill’s a little too close to the river for my taste.
ROMULUS
Hmm. Funny how you thought of that now.
REMUS
Well I happened to. The only thing is the hill.
ROMULUS
Okay. So where would you put it?
REMUS (pointing to the other taller hill)
Um
How about that one?
...
ROMULUS
Wow.
REMUS
We’ll get more sun—
ROMULUS
You dirty sociopath.
REMUS
That’s logical!
ROMULUS
You’re insane! First you veto the perfect spot out of pure jealousy, then you lie about not being jealous, and then, when you’re caught in the lie, you try to dig yourself out by recommending a different spot so you can get all the credit!
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Romulus starts to walk away:
REMUS
Where are you going?
ROMULUS
I’m done, you win. Seriously. You’re the guy to do it.
REMUS
I thought we were gonna rule together…
ROMULUS
Really? Like that’s ever worked ever?
...
It was always going to be one of us. You proved it.
REMUS
What did I prove?
ROMULUS
That you’ve got the guts. That you’ll undermine and be selfish and deny deny deny until you get exactly what you want. That’s what a leader should be.
REMUS
But I don’t want to be that. I’m not that I’m—I want to do this with you. 50/50, the head and the heart.
ROMULUS
It’s not happening. I don’t have the instinct.
It’s got to be you.
Remus thinks, then slowly nods. He walks to the edge of the outcrop, overlooking the valley. Romulus comes up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
REMUS
You were right.
I’m really starting to see it.
ROMULUS
No better place.
All it needs is a name.
REMUS
What do you think?
ROMULUS
Hm.
How about Remia?
REMUS
Remia? After me?
ROMULUS
Why not? It’s your spot.
…
REMUS
Remia it is.
...
I’m sorry, brother.
ROMULUS
Yeah. I am too.
With that, Romulus pushes Remus off the outcrop. Remus falls into the valley, screaming. Romulus turns away before seeing his brother hit the ground. He picks up Remus' broken sandal off the ground. He looks at it a tad mournfully, then flings it off the outcrop too. Romulus starts to walk down the ledge, headed towards the first hill. His hill. To Rome.