Voyage
January 2nd, 2021
Starring: The Applicant (18-22), The Guardian (45-75)
Two minutes till midnight. The Applicant intently types and clicks on a laptop. The Guardian watches from the other side of the room, keeping some distance.
One minute till midnight. More types and clicks. The stress level in the room somehow doubles.
Thirty seconds till midnight. A few more frenzied types, a scroll, then one last click. The Applicant breathes out some frazzled sigh of release. All is quiet.
THE GUARDIAN
Done?
THE APPLICANT
Done.
THE GUARDIAN
That was close.
THE APPLICANT
But we’re good. It’s in. Everything’s in.
...
THE GUARDIAN
So now what?
THE APPLICANT
I don’t know. Wait? I got so used to the tunnel vision, I forgot there was another side.
THE GUARDIAN
Here we are, in the light. Weight lifted?
THE APPLICANT
A little. For the moment. Until they tie a cinderblock to my feet and toss me in Rejection River.
THE GUARDIAN
Is that right?
THE APPLICANT
It’s better than the Waitlist Watershed. Or the Delta of Deferral.
THE GUARDIAN
No chance the ship’s docked in the Gulf of Got In?
THE APPLICANT
That’s a pretty long sail with my scores.
And if I make it, then I have to get around the Dam of Debt, and the only way that works out is if I manage to find the Straits of Scholarship, which still sink most ships anyways.
…
THE GUARDIAN
Your self-doubt’s always so articulate.
THE APPLICANT
They should have a section for it on the app, I’d get right in.
THE GUARDIAN
It’s going to cripple you. Regardless of outcome.
THE APPLICANT
I know. But some part of me still wants to do it.
THE GUARDIAN
I’m talking about the mindset. The deprecation spiral. I don’t want to hear it anymore.
THE APPLICANT
I can’t not feel this way.
THE GUARDIAN
Feel however you want to feel. Just don’t do it around me.
THE APPLICANT
It’s not a switch-flip kind of thing—
THE GUARDIAN
Well find one. Because it’s dragging me down. I feel like shit.
THE APPLICANT
Why do you feel like shit?
THE GUARDIAN
Because you do.
THE APPLICANT
But I’m really the one putting you through it. I should be the only one feeling like shit.
THE GUARDIAN
Well unfortunately, when it’s someone you care about, there are two sides to every shit. More than two. Infinite, infinite dimensions of shit.
…
It’s shitty, but it’s the truth. Better you know it now than later.
THE APPLICANT
I wonder where I get the articulate shittalk from.
THE GUARDIAN
Picked it up somewhere. The Lagoon of Life.
THE APPLICANT
Nice place?
THE GUARDIAN
The water’s murky. Depends on how you look at it.
…
…
I gotta get to sleep. There’s a pint in the freezer, you should celebrate.
THE APPLICANT
I don’t want to eat.
THE GUARDIAN
So don’t. Celebrate.
The Guardian goes to bed. The Applicant puts the laptop down. They look to the freezer, then back. They try to think about how to celebrate. After a little bit, they settle for a light pat on the back. That turns into a mini self-hug, which turns into a sideways self-cradle on the couch. It isn’t long before they fall asleep.