Down-Streaming
June 15th, 2020
Starring: A & B
Any given evening. A and B are on the couch, in front of the TV. A holds the remote, scrolling. They stare at the screen, unimpressed by what they see.
B
Keep going down.
A
I can’t.
B
So we just hit the bottom?
A
Wow, yeah. And there’s nothing.
B
Nothing. Really, there’s nothing that good.
A
At all. On any of them.
Why are we paying for all these?
B
To have a variety, I guess.
A
Of what, garbage?
B
Seriously, garbage.
A
I’ve got an idea...
How about we choose which one of the four that we actually want, then we take the money we save from the ones we cancel, and give it to charity, or something?
B
Oh my god I love that. That’s super thoughtful.
So which three are we cancelling?
A
Well...uh. I mean this one is mainly crap, right?
B
Total crap.
Well
But they do have all the o.g. sitcoms and stuff. That’s pretty clutch.
A
Oh right yeah, that would be good to have…
A presses a few more buttons on the remote.
What about this one?
B
Yeah I don’t care if we drop it. I mean you mainly watch stuff on this one.
A
Hmm yeah.
They have some really good classic stuff on here though…
B
Ok so maybe not that one either?
A
Cool…
A presses more buttons.
Ok I think we can both agree that this one is a no.
B
Yeah this one can go for sure…
Wait hold on hold on....they just released all the Bond movies on here?
A
Woah, that’s new.
B
Remember how we talked about watching them in order, then ranking them from least sexist treatment of bond girls to most?
A
Oh my god, I totally forgot! We have to.
Then we’ll cancel.
A
Rightright.
More button presses.
So that brings us to this one.
B
I don’t know. I’ve only seen one original show by them.
A
Was it good?
B
The first six minutes weren’t.
A
Okay, so no brainer. We should cancel.
…
Actually
This is the one that comes with the membership. Like with the whole package.
B
So if we cancel it, we can’t get the free shipping?
A
I think.
B
Oh, shoot.
Then we should probably keep it too, right?
A
For sure.
…
B
So we should keep all of them.
A
Yeah.
Just for now.
B
Exactly. We’ll use them.
…
A
Sooo do you want to watch the first Bond?
B
Yeah, let’s do it!
A presses more buttons, getting to the right screen.
A
Okay. Dr. No. Number one.
This is gonna be fun.
B
So fun.
A presses play. The Bond theme music begins as the lights go down.