On Guard
June 20th, 2020
Starring: Agent 1, Agent 2, Congressman
Agent 1 and Agent 2 stand on either side of a doorway. Suits, glasses, ear pieces, etc. They stand facing out, one hand firmly holding the other wrist. They’re stoically expressionless the whole way through:
AGENT 1
So I finally pulled the trigger.
AGENT 2
You did? When?
AGENT 1
Last weekend. Totally on impulse.
AGENT 2
How’d it feel?
AGENT 1
Amazing. I’ve been itching for so long.
AGENT 2
How did the kids react?
AGENT 1
They absolutely flipped. Lots of screaming.
AGENT 2
Oh, man.
AGENT 1
My youngest called it a “special bathtub.”
AGENT 2
You’re gonna let them use it?
AGENT 1
Once in a while. Why not, you know? Family bonding.
AGENT 2
Sure. I’m selfish, I keep mine all to myself. Fortress of solitude.
AGENT 1
I can’t wait. Long day, take off the shades, crank up the jets, unwind.
AGENT 2
There’s nothing like it. And it’s perfect for when guests come over. We had my daughter’s friend’s parents over for like a wine thing the other night? It was kind of awkward, but then we got in the jacuzzi, total icebreaker.
AGENT 1
No kidding....
When they ask where you work, what do you say?
AGENT 2
Depends. Usually I say a security company.
AGENT 1
Hm….I never thought to say that.
I go with realtor. Vacation properties.
AGENT 2
Interesting.
Well to each their own.
...
I’m glad you finally joined the club.
AGENT 1
I am too.
AGENT 2
Let me know how you like it.
AGENT 1
I will.
The door opens behind them. The congressman walks out, holding a briefing.
AGENT 1
Mr. Congressman.
AGENT 2
Mr. Congressman.
The agents flank the congressman as he keeps walking down the hall, out of sight.