Jerked

August 9th, 2020

Starring: Austin (male, 30’s), Roberta (female, 50’s)

San Francisco.  On a street corner, Austin stands under small umbrella table.  He holds a tray full of little sample cups.  Roberta walks by, in athleisure.  

AUSTIN

Pardon me...

ROBERTA

Yes?

AUSTIN

Did you just come from Hot Yoga?

ROBERTA

Cold Pilates, actually.

AUSTIN

Cold Pilates, of course.

Would be interested in a free jerky sample today?  Great post-workout protein.

ROBERTA

Um, sure.  Did you make it?

AUSTIN

Myself. We’re an organic jerky startup.  Local.

ROBERTA

Interesting.  We don’t have anything like that around here.

AUSTIN

Thought we’d corner the market.

ROBERTA

Well good on you, being ahead of the curve.  My kids love those slim jim things?

AUSTIN

Spoiler alert, it’s processed garbage.

ROBERTA

I can imagine.

Roberta eats her sample.

ROBERTA

Mm.  Super smoky flavor.  And it’s quite chewy.

AUSTIN

We pride ourselves on the freshness of our protein.  That’s where the texture comes from.

ROBERTA

I believe it...is it beef?

AUSTIN

Feral pig, actually.

ROBERTA

Hm?

AUSTIN

You’re having the Hickory Feral Pig.  That’s our original flavor.

ROBERTA

And the others are…?

AUSTIN

This is the Teriyaki Nutria, and that’s the Spicy Cajun Lionfish.

ROBERTA

You’re jerking invasive species?

AUSTIN

That we are.  

ROBERTA

Huh.

I can’t tell if that’s brilliant or disgusting.

AUSTIN

We can’t either.

But you didn’t seem to hate it.

ROBERTA

I didn’t...I really kind of didn’t...

… 

Are you taking investors?

END OF PLAY

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