Protocol
August 7th, 2020
Starring: Suits 1, 2, & 3
Monday night. An executive boardroom, somewhere. The Suits are all sitting at the table, watching a projected screen of a NFL football replay. A linebacker is seen blindsiding a running back with a helmet-to-helmet tackle. The running back hits the ground, and not lightly. The suits all watch the tape a few more times, at different speeds: normal, slow-mo, super-slo-mo, super-slo-x-mo. It’s cringey, but they don’t show it:
SUIT 3
Remind me where this happened?
SUIT 2
Buffalo.
No wait...
Miami?
No wait I can see their breath, that’s Buffalo.
SUIT 3
I was hearing something about LA too?
SUIT 1
Yeah, something similar went down on Sunday.
SUIT 3
Which LA?
SUIT 2
Does it really matter?
SUIT 3
Who got hit there?
SUIT 1
Punter, during the kick return.
SUIT 2
Phew.
SUIT 3
Thank god.
SUIT 1
Right. It was obvious. Spotter flagged it, he got carted off, tested, and is on protocol in a dark room somewhere nicely resting.
SUIT 2
And totally replaceable.
SUIT 1
Right.
SUIT 3
Which is why we’re not really hearing about it.
SUIT 1
Yeah.
SUIT 2
But this—
SUIT 1
Yeah.
SUIT 3
Not bueno.
SUIT 2
I mean...good television.
SUIT 3
Great television.
SUIT 1
Still a clean hit.
But—
SUIT 3
What—
SUIT 1
He ended up back on the field the next drive.
SUIT 2
They examined him, didn’t they?
SUIT 1
Yeah.
SUIT 3
So he got cleared.
SUIT 1
You saw him get up.
SUIT 3
Yeah.
SUIT 2
Walked off on his own accord...
SUIT 1
Like an 11-month-old taking his first steps.
SUIT 2
Well yeah, obviously he was—
SUIT 1
So if he was...how did he get let back in the game? Who cleared him? Someone had to.
SUIT 3
I thought we said he got checked in the med tent.
SUIT 1
But he came right back out and started playing. Even though he displayed symptoms in-game and failed his baseline postgame. That’s where we’re gonna get heat.
So we need to think.
…
SUIT 2
Why don’t we dump this on the team? It’s the coaches and team doc’s prerogative to stop him from getting back out there. Those aren’t our people.
SUIT 1
Believe me, no matter what, we’re fining the crap out of the team.
But the spotters, they aren’t employed by the team. They’re employed by us, and they missed a big one here.
SUIT 2
So then why don’t we frame it like that? A miss. Say our people flagged it when the hit got made, and the people downstairs didn’t hear it, or listen. “Communication issues,” or something.
SUIT 1
That’s risky. Someone could easily come out and say they heard radio silence from the spotters.
SUIT 3
Then we chalk it up to the RB. We say that our people were told that the player insisted he felt well enough to continue.
Think about it. It’s Monday night, primetime. He’s your big contract, every down workhorse type of guy, passionate, a bit hot-headed. The type of competitor to take a big hit like that and run back out there. He could easily have said something in the tent.
SUIT 1
So what if he says he didn’t?
SUIT 3
Come on, he’s not going to remember a thing.
SUIT 2
And worse comes to worse, we just tell our doc who was in the tent to say he said something.
Yeah?
SUIT 3
Yeah.
SUIT 1
Yeah.
…
SUIT 3
And I mean.
We always kind of have the last word, don’t we?
SUIT 2
But we can’t get too big for our boots. Commish always says a big revolt’s coming.
SUIT 3
Eh. I’ll believe it when I see it.
…
SUIT 3
Are we good? For now?
I’d like to say goodnight to the kids. It’s a school night, you know.
SUIT 2
Yeah, we’re solid. I’ll talk to medical tonight.
SUIT 3
And I’ll draw up a statement bright and early.
SUIT 1
Deal. Thank you both for getting creative.
SUIT 3
Hey, it’s the job.
‘Night.
SUIT 2
‘Night.
SUIT 1
‘Night.
Suit 2 and Suit 3 pack up their briefcases and leave the conference room. Suit 1 picks up the remote and presses play, watching the play over once more, actually cringing. They click off the projector, pack up their briefcase, and head home.