Substitute
July 29th, 2020
Starring: The Sibs (20+, Sib 1 older than Sib 2)
Sib 1 is sitting around. Sib 2 enters, holding the newspaper.
SIB 2
Remember Mrs. T?
SIB 1
The sub with the candy bag?
SIB 2
Yeah.
SIB 1
Yeah, I remember her.
SIB 2
She died.
…
SIB 1
From what?
SIB 2
Doesn’t say.
…
SIB 1
She was already pretty old when we were there.
SIB 2
Still sad.
SIB 1
No I know. I’m just not all that surprised.
...
I don’t think she ever liked me.
SIB 2
Really?
SIB 1
Yeah. Always a little cold, I remember.
SIB 2
Real trauma there.
SIB 1
Ha. I was probably just a shit.
Did she like you?
SIB 2
I think. She always gave me the extra Baby Ruths, because nobody else liked the Baby Ruths.
SIB 1
They’re old people chocolate.
SIB 2
Yeah, well…
Candy choices aside, I do think she liked me.
SIB 1
Probably because she saw you weren’t me.
SIB 2
Yeah. I’m sure it all goes back to you.
…
SIB 1
Was that necessary?
SIB 2
I mean
I did have an identity beyond yours. I still do.
SIB 1
I never said you didn’t.
SIB 2
You kind of did.
SIB 1
You’re just being unnecessarily sensitive and edgy.
SIB 2
No.
I just think it’s sad that you haven’t displayed any sympathy for this woman passing away.
SIB 1
I haven’t thought about her since third grade. She was old, this shit happens. Were you expecting me to like...fall to my knees and weep?
SIB 2
What if you died right now? Wouldn’t you want everyone to remember you?
SIB 1
No.
We are tiny blips on most people’s life timelines. When we die, pretty much nobody’s going to care. Maybe a few people, if we’re lucky.
SIB 2
That’s very Hot Topic of you.
SIB 1
I mean, I’m sorry if you can’t handle it, but it’s true.
…
SIB 2
Ok.
Well I just thought you should know.
SIB 1
Thanks.
…
We’re good, right?
SIB 2
Yeah.
Sure.
Sib 2 exits.