Table Setter
July 7th, 2020
Starring: Server (late 20’s/early 30’s), Maitre d’ (at least 20 years Server’s senior)
A fancy restaurant, before dinner service. A long table spans the space, parallel to the audience. A small sign that reads “Reserved” is in the center. Server immaculately sets the table. Maitre d’ walks by. Both are elegantly dressed:
MAITRE D’
May I?
Server nods.
Maitre d’ scans the length of the table, ensuring every spot is in place. They quizzically shoot up one eyebrow.
MAITRE D’
Who hired you?
SERVER
You.
MAITRE D’
I wouldn’t hire someone who couldn’t set a table correctly.
SERVER
I believe it is correct.
MAITRE D’
There, there, and there are correct.
There, there, there, there, there, and there, what are those?
SERVER
They’re correct also.
MAITRE D’
Correct is not a fork on the right and a knife on the left.
SERVER
But isn’t it better to set the cutlery based on the diner’s dominant eating hand? This way, there’s no awkward hand switching when they begin to eat.
MAITRE D’
It isn’t tradition.
For most of history, the knife was the primary eating utensil. The fork was merely supplemental.
SERVER
...but not anymore.
At what point do we stop favoring tradition over effectiveness?
MAITRE D’
You’re thinking too practically. Most traditions are meant to be ineffective.
SERVER
Why?
MAITRE D’
Because tradition is expectation, expectation is structure, and structure is power.
…
…
We open momentarily. Would you check on the bread please?
A pause. Server takes in Maitre d’s hard eye-contact, then scurries off.
Maitre d’ resets the table back to normal, humming.