Goldilocks

October 16th, 2020

Starring: Tess & Rhea (both female, 20’s/30’s)

A salad place.  Tess and Rhea are sitting outside, digging in to their bowls, catching up.

RHEA

Wow

I knew you were in love, I just didn’t know you were that in love.

TESS

Oh yeah.  I guess it all sort of snuck up on me.  

RHEA

Gotta love sneaky love.

TESS

It’s been really good.

I don’t know, he’s the first person who actually feels three-dimensional?

Like not everything’s so perfect about him, but that’s what’s good.  I appreciate him more for the little weird things.

RHEA

Like what?

TESS

I mean it’s nothing insane.

RHEA

But what’s one thing?

TESS

Well

He’s sort of a picky eater.

RHEA

A picky eater? 

TESS

That’s what he calls himself, yeah.  

RHEA

As in he’ll eat his ice cream, but not his veggies?

TESS

It’s not that he’s unhealthy.  It’s just that he’s picky.

RHEA

So he doesn’t like certain foods?

TESS

Not even.  It’s more in the intangibles?  Like the way food’s prepared, or displayed.

He’s very sensitive to temperature.  If the food’s too hot, he gets queasy and can’t eat it.  Or anything that’s been in the fridge past a certain time.  But also if it’s completely room temperature, it’s no good either.

RHEA

So it’s a Goldilocks type of thing?

TESS

And he only knows when it’s just right.  That’s why dining out is hard, because he can’t control it.  Same with the grocery stores.  Like if anything’s packaged in those deli ziploc bags, it’s no good.  Same with any dairy that’s in cartons.  Rounded pickle jars are also a no-no.

RHEA

That’s a lot.

TESS

That’s just the beginning.  

...

But he really is amazing.  You wouldn’t know it if you met him.

RHEA

But I do now.

TESS

It’s just a sliver of who he is.

RHEA

Doesn’t that sliver tell you a lot about the whole?

TESS

It says he’s a picky eater.

RHEA

But most grown men can eat leftovers.

TESS

He can eat leftovers.  He just has to put them under a low heat lamp until they’re a touch above defrosted.

RHEA

That’s not normal.

TESS

It’s three-dimensional!

RHEA

It’s one-dimensional!  It’s so abnormal it consumes all the normalness about him!

TESS

Well I know him.  And I know he’s three-dimensional, and I love him for it.

RHEA

And I’m glad you do.  I just don’t want you to get hurt by his pickiness.  

TESS

We’re fine.  

Actually, we’re great.

We’re killing it right now.

Tess’ cell phone rings.  She picks up.

TESS

Hey baby

Yeah, I already called and the milkman’s coming.

Can you make it until 2?  I warmed up some celery if you need a snack.

Yeah, of course he’s bringing the glass bottles.  Don’t forget to tip him.

Ok I’ll see you at home.

Love you too.

Tess ends the call.  Rhea just stares.

TESS

Shutup.

END OF PLAY

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Tortoise and Hare