National Diner
October 8th, 2020
Starring: Diner 1, Diner 2
A local diner. Nothing frilly about it. The Diners sit at a booth. Diner 1 has a T-bone steak, 2 has opted for pancakes:
DINER 2
How’s the T-bone?
DINER 1
A little well done.
DINER 2
You asked for medium.
DINER 1
So?
DINER 2
So send it back.
DINER 1
You must be joking.
DINER 2
You should get it cooked how you want.
DINER 1
It’s not about what I want anymore. We’re at a diner, it’s about what is.
DINER 2
And the fact is diners are customer driven. Your satisfaction is their priority.
DINER 1
I could never be dissatisfied by a diner. Their beauty is that they can’t be tamed. If I can order a T-bone special before 7am, I’m gonna get it cooked however it’s going to be cooked because that’s how it is. Who would I be to disturb that imbalance?
DINER 2
Someone who wants to improve the early-morning T-bone experience generations to come. In staying silent, you’re doing this diner a disservice in thinking you’re doing them a service.
DINER 1
You’re still looking at a diner like it’s any other restaurant. This not is some transactional space where money is exchanged under the guise of food and drink. This is a diner. They should be treated as national parks. They are living, breathing ecosystems. Inside, everything relies on everything else to survive. It’s delicate, but it works. Tip the balance on any end, and boom: extinction. In this environment, I’m just an ant, and even an ant knows to deal with what they get. I play my part in this ecosystem, and it provides.
DINER 2
You still paid for a medium T-bone.
DINER 1
No. I paid for the experience of eating a well-done T-bone while having a classic diner argument about the ethics of diner dining. I’ll remember that long after the food comes and goes.
…
How’s your short stack?
DINER 2
Fantastic.
...
If they started federally protecting diners, you would be a great ranger.
DINER 1
Eh. I’d rather just visit them all.
DINER 2
Roadtrip?
DINER 1
I’d be a neverending nomad….
They eat on, striking up a new discussion, one with their environment.