Yasher Koach
October 9th, 2020
Starring: Elliot (male, 13), Rabbi (35-65)
Rabbi’s office. Elliot sits, watching Rabbi finish reading over his bar-mitzvah speech.
RABBI
Mm.
Mmmhm.
Ok.
Yes.
Great, Elliot.
Well done.
ELLIOT
Seriously?
RABBI
Of course. Connecting your Torah portion about animal sacrifice to your experience volunteering at the animal shelter is a very unique perspective.
ELLIOT
How would you say it stacks up?
RABBI
What’s that?
ELLIOT
My speech. Would you say it’s better than average?
RABBI
I...I can’t really answer that, Elliot.
ELLIOT
Could you at least tell me if you think it’s better than Eli Loeb’s? Because it’s so obvious his was ghostwritten—
RABBI
Not a competition—
ELLIOT
I’m just saying I didn’t really get that much help—
RABBI
And that’s awesome. As I said before, not a competition...but yes, mazel tov.
I’m sure your essay grades are better for it, haha.
…
RABBI
So. You feeling all ready to rock hebrew-wise?
ELLIOT
Yeah I’m fine.
RABBI
Nervous?
ELLIOT
No.
RABBI
Excited?
ELLIOT
Sure.
…
RABBI
Well it’s going to be a special weekend. I’m very happy for you.
...
Is there anything else you wanted to ask me?
ELLIOT
I don’t think so.
RABBI
Great. Well I guess I’ll see you on the big day—
ELLIOT
Wait actually
I did have another question.
You know the part of the service when the person from synagogue comes up to give me gifts, and they say they planted a tree in Israel in my name?
RABBI
Yes...
ELLIOT
Do they actually do that?
Like
Could I go to Israel in a few months and see my tree?
Or is it more of a symbolic thing?
RABBI
I...you know what Elliot, I don’t know. I don’t see why they would lie about that, but I’m sure you could look into it once you—you know—get your certificate, and everything.
ELLIOT
Ok. Sorry I just always wanted to ask that.
RABBI
That’s ok. It’s good to be inquisitive. Especially with all the stuff you hear out there.
ELLIOT
Like religion is the original fake news?
RABBI
...
Do you believe that?
...
ELLIOT
No.
...
Thanks Rabbi.
RABBI
Take care, Elliot.
Yasher Koach.