Sidewinder

November 22nd, 2020

Starring: Dad (male, 70’s), Son 3 (male, 40’s)

An open field/yard.  Dad and Son 3 are throwing a baseball back and forth.  Son 3 is throwing with a somewhat sidearm:

DAD

What’s the deal?

SON 3

What?

DAD

You’re sidearming a little.

SON 3

My shoulder’s been flaring up.

DAD

How long?

SON 3

Like a month?

DAD

No consult?

SON 3

I’m not going in right now.

DAD

You’re in pain.

SON 3

Not enough to brave the wave.

DAD

You’re a big boy.  Wear a mask and go in.

SON 3

I don’t want to.

DAD

This is how the chronic stuff develops.  You think it’s nothing.  Then you get to my age, everything feels like crap, then have to sit on your ass until you croak.

SON 3

I’m not going in.

DAD

Why?

SON 3

So I can see you.

DAD

You’re an idiot.

SON 3

Why are you mad at me?

DAD

You’re accommodating.

SON 3

It’s caring.

DAD

Caring is a trojan horse for guilt.

SON 3

Guilt?  Where’s the guilt?  This is catch, catch is guilt free.

DAD

Fine, fine.  So long as you’re not changing your life around for my sake.

SON 3

I’m not, I promise.  

You’re not that important.

DAD

That’s the spirit.

… 

I kind of like you as a sidewinder.

SON 3

Really?

DAD

Yeah.  It suits you.

SON 3

But what does that mean?

DAD

I don’t know.

Call it parental intuition.

Dad uncorks one, landing off target and in between them:

DAD

Shit

I’ll get it.

SON 3

It’s fine.

DAD

I threw it.

SON 3

I’m right here—

DAD

Just let me get it, ok?

SON 3

Alright.

Dad jogs to go get it.  Son 3 watches him go.

SON 3 (To himself)

Yeah.  I’m the sidewinder.

END OF PLAY

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The Face Eater