The Clown

November 23rd, 2020

Starring: Kenji (male, 16), Mack (male, 16)

Science lab.  Kenji is staring into one microscope, Mack at another.

MACK

Hey Kenji

KENJI

What

MACK

Look

KENJI

I’m looking at mine.

MACK

Mine’s cooler.

Kenji goes over and looks into Mack‘s microscope.

KENJI

That’s not pond scum.

MACK

Nope it’s three of my pubes.

… 

MACK

It’s funny

KENJI

Eh

MACK

It’s a pretty good one.

KENJI

Mack I don’t want to hurt your feelings

But you’ve gotta step it up

MACK

Don’t tell me this wasn’t money. 

KENJI

It was shocking.  There was a quarter second of funny, then an eternity of gross.

MACK

Quick and dirty is my thing.

KENJI

You have to clean off the slide and disinfect the microscope and all that jazz.  Think about all that prep for a subpar joke.

MACK

I can’t believe you think it’s bad.

KENJI

It’s not bad.  It’s just not good.

MACK

Then what is it?

KENJI

It’s “dumb boy prank” territory.  

MACK

And…?

KENJI

Don’t you want to be class clown?

MACK

Yeah.

KENJI

Then you can’t afford that.  If you want to be CC, you have to joke like one.

MACK

I’m funnier than Donnie—

KENJI

But Donnie is the better clown.  Why?  Not because he’s funnier, but because he thinks like a clown.  Remember the 6th grade Medieval Europe unit?

MACK

Uh

KENJI

Back then, the jesters and clowns were respected figures of the King’s court.  People needed them.  They were entertainers, not degenerates.  Key is, you have to get people to want you to be a nuisance.

MACK

Like Donnie.

KENJI

Exactly.  Even though Donnie’s a dumbass, he’s a loveable, relatively harmless dumbass, and right now, you’re just a dumbass.

I know I’m just some tryhard, but start over.  Clean slide.  Sleep on it tonight, and come back tomorrow making the jokes you want to make.

MACK

How do I know what they are?

KENJI

You’ll know.  

MACK

But how?

KENJI

They’ll just come.

MACK

Lol

...

Come

KENJI

Seriously?

MACK

I’m trolling, I’m trolling.

Thanks Kenji.

Sorry you had to see my pubes.

KENJI

No prob.

Just be glad you have some.

Kenji goes back to his pond scum.  Mack starts to clean off his slide.  

END OF PLAY

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