Thankful
November 26th, 2020
Starring: Erik (male, 20’s)
Erik sits in his closet, holding a piece of paper:
I was cleaning out my closet, and I found this.
Homework: “What am I thankful for?” worksheet
Name: Erik
Grade: 2nd
Teacher: Ms. J
Date: 11/23/05
Assignment: Write three things you are thankful for. For each, write why you are thankful in a complete sentence!
One: I am thankful for...my house—spelled housz
Why am I thankful?
“I am thankful for my house because it has food (fud) and I can play Zoo Tycoon 2 on the computer (computor)”
...
Two: I am thankful for...my dog
Why am I thankful?
“I am thankful for my dog because she is very cute (cut) and likes to run in the neighborhood (neybor hood).”
…
Three: I am thankful for...the Native Americans
Why am I thankful?
“I am thankful for the Native Americans because they shared with the pilgrims and they gave us America.”
...
They gave us America.
Yep. There it is.
Revisionist, hegemonic, whitewashing from yours truly, age seven.
Obviously I don’t believe that. We, and by we I mean the colonialist we, were not given America. My ancestors took it from them. Not my bloodline directly, but ancestors of people who look like me, took it from them.
And I thought I always knew that, but clearly I didn’t. And I don’t know why.
My parents are both PhDs so I don’t think they’d think that...plus my school—my elementary school—was super progressive...and my teacher that year was half...I don’t exactly remember what ethnicity, but she was half something, so even if the textbooks said something I don’t think she’d be teaching that.
And—you know—I’ve always been someone who’s considered myself to be a person who’s aware of history, and my place and privilege in it. I’ve tried to make my whole life a reflection of that.
But at a certain point, I have to realize that there’s noone to blame but me. No matter how well I’m raised, or educated, or how badly I want to help, none of it matters if I’m biased at the core.
I’m rotten. And I think I always have been.
Erik looks back down at the worksheet and notices:
Um
Wait um
Did I just...spell it wrong?
...
Wait I don’t think...hold on…
I think...I think I wrote something else
…
Yeah I think I was trying to write “a merry day,” but I spelled it a, space, then merry, (spelled meri), then day (spelled da)
And all together the seven year old way I wrote it really looks like the word America.
But it’s not.
Yeah
“I am thankful for the Native Americans because they shared with the pilgrims and gave us a merry day.”
Yeah
That makes way more sense.
...
...
So
Um
Nevermind...?!