Off
November 25th, 2020
Starring: A & B
A
Working today?
B
No, I’m taking off.
A
Hey. Nice.
B
Madness.
A
Taking off?
B
It’s not even. It’s deferring to take on more later.
A
So don’t take off.
B
I’m not going to not take off. I just don’t feel off when I’m off.
A
Uh
B
Like my brain knows I’m off, but my brain also knows it’s only because I’ve exercised a clause in my contract that allows me to be off.
A
Yes, so you’re off.
B
By the book.
A
And by the book, today you are not in the book. Rip yourself out.
B
That’s my whole point. What’s the point of ripping myself if I have to retape myself in in three days?
A
It’s what organisms need.
B
WE’RE THE ONLY ORGANISMS THAT HAVE OFF DAYS!
A
Ok, alright, you’re all Stockholmed out, I get it. I get what you want. But do you get what you need?
B
Don’t you dare say time off—
A
Cannabis.
…
…
B
Ok.
A
Correct answer.
A rummages through a drawer and takes out a chocolate bar. A brakes off a nice hunk and hands it to B:
A
You’re not just gonna take off, you’re gonna lift off. Another dimension.
A wolfs down their own piece, then dances off to the other room:
A
And I’m ordering a large meat lover’s. Deal with it.
A vanishes. B stares at their piece, then ingests.
B
Damn it.
The off day begins.