The Pokémon Party
October 2nd, 2020
Starring: A, B, C (all early-mid 20’s)
An outdoor get together, maybe a total of 8-10 people. A, B and C are catching up in their own little triad, standing up. They all sip hard seltzers:
A
Wait so I wanted to ask you something. I already asked everyone before you got here, but I wanted to know your answer.
B
Ok…
A
Ok. So if you reflect on your childhood, what was the thing that impacted you the most?
B
...
Probably my Mom?
A
No I mean—that was badly phrased—we were talking like a thing. Like a toy or a stuffed animal or something.
B
Oh.
…
Ok maybe this is says too much about me, but when I really think...it’s the Game Boy.
A
Oh yeah—
C
Oh shoot that’s actually a good answer—
B
Like there were other maybe more meaningful things but like when I really think back on all my experiences the Game Boy was always around—
A
No I was kind of the same way....
C
I sort of hate my answer now—
B
What was yours—?
C
Neopets.
B
Oh but Neopets were awesome—
C
But there was probably something better—
A
I do think they made a mistake calling it Game Boy. A lot of girls were into it—
B
But like circa the time they were playing to their average consumer—
A
Even so—
C
But from a 2020 lens sure—
B
No I mean I agree there are so many girl gamers now—
A
Were you Pokémon kids?
B
Me?
C
I watched my brother play and he would let me play sometimes—
B
Hell yeah I was a Pokémon kid—
A
Wait how have we not talked about this!? Did you play Ruby?
B
Ruby? Come on, Sapphire squad all the way—
A
Oh nonono—
B
Wait hold on we need a tiebreaker—
C
I think my brother had the green one with the green guy—
A/B
RAYQUAZA?!
C
Yeah I think!
A
Ooo so you had Emerald
B
That’s insane
A
I know I’m biased obviously but I do think Ruby was the best overall—
B
Kyogre 100% edges Groudon—water beats fire
A
But Groudon’s not fire, he’s ground—
B
Guarantee you he’s still going down after a few rounds of Hydro Pump—
C
Y’all are hilarious
B
Hey this is serious
A
As serious as it gets
B
I mean our friendship’s on the line right now
A
Haha
C
Throwback to when which Pokémon you played was the most serious debate there was...
B
Wait...so if I played Sapphire I’m a Democrat—?
A
Oh noooo if I played Ruby does that make me Republican—?
C
Yiiiikes
And if I’m Emerald that makes me…?
B
Green Party?
C
Lol
A
Ha!
Well if that’s how it is now I’ll gladly switch to team Sapphire
C
Kyogre 2020!!
B
I mean
This is dumb but if we’re really going with the analogy it should kind of be like Emerald right?
A
I didn’t know you were into Jill Stein—
B
Ha
Well
Like since the Emerald game had both Groudon and Kyogre plus Rayquaza...it’s kind of a best case scenario because a lot of people feel one way about some things and another way about another.
A
I mean I feel like I’m pretty set with Sapphire...like politically speaking—
B
But maybe not everyone’s head over heels about Kyogre’s policies—
C
But you’re not like a Groudonite—?
B
No, I’m not saying I’m anything. I’m just saying maybe there are maybe a lot of Emerald fans out there who don’t like Groudon or Kyogre.
C
But if you vote for a Rayquaza you might as well be giving your vote to Groudon—
B
Maybe. And I’m not saying—
I just hope down the road there are more options than only Groudon or Kyogre.
A
But right now those are the only two choices we have and I think we all know who would be better. Like that shouldn’t be even a question. Right?
C
Exactly
B
Sure
…
The vibe’s different. A breaks through it:
A
Well yeah
That was a nice trip down memory lane
…
Either of you want another hard seltzer?
C
I’d love one
B
Yes please.
A shuffles off. B and C sort of stand there.
C
So are you not gonna vote in November?
B
What?
No, I am.
C
But like for—?
B
What?
C
What?
B
I don’t know what you’re aski—
C
Nevermind. Sorry.
Just checking.
B and C stand there and watch A get the seltzers from the cooler across the way.
It feels like forever.