Free Scribble
October 3rd, 2020
Starring: Mr. Remy (male, 30’s), Shea (female, late 30’s/early 40’s)
Split video screens. One half is Mr. Remy, from the (private) school art room, alone. His mask, which is patterned to look like Van Gogh’s Starry Night, is pulled down under his chin. The other half is Shea, from her law office. They both wait for the call to connect. It does:
MR. REMY
Hello...Mrs. Olivares?
SHEA
Yes is this Mr. Remy?
MR. REMY
It is, nice to meet you. I appreciate you speaking with me in the middle of your day.
SHEA
Should I expect this more? The parent-teacher video chat?
MR. REMY
School policy is we’re trying to limit foot traffic in the buildings. Believe me, it’s strange for everyone.
SHEA
You’re her art teacher, is that correct?
MR. REMY
Yes ma’am, that’s correct.
SHEA
And they asked you specifically to speak with me? Not Ms. Barber?
MR. REMY
Ms. Barber is having lunch with them right now. And yes, as I was the teacher present, they thought it was best to have it come from me. Did the office brief you at all?
SHEA
Some, but I’d appreciate if you could tell your side.
MR. REMY
Sure.
So for our third graders, I always devote one class a week that’s called “free scribble,” which is essentially for the kids to make things with a bunch of different materials. We found it’s really liberating for kids in that particular age group to have that sort of freedom to create.
Now over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that Dani has been really into sculpting animals—with clay, model magic, things like that.
SHEA
She’s running out of space on her nightstand.
MR. REMY
And that’s wonderful. Really. To be attracted to one medium this young is such a gift.
So this morning, as I was making my rounds, I could see she was making something different.
At first I thought it was a clamshell.
But as the hour went on I realized that...you know
SHEA
She was making a vagina.
MR. REMY
Right, correct.
And when I asked her before cleanup what she made, she seemed to know what she was making, but it um
It didn’t seem to me that she had a full understanding of what it was. The name or the uh...function.
And of course I’d never want to have that conversation for you. But we, meaning myself and Ms. Barber and the principal, thought it was best that you know.
…
SHEA
So
Is she being punished for this?
MR. REMY
Absolutely not, absolutely not.
We were just trying to see if there was something that maybe prompted her to make—
SHEA
Maybe it’s because she has one.
…
MR. REMY
Yes.
We were just curious if that’s a conversation you’ve already had with her because
You know
We wouldn’t feel comfortable.
SHEA
Uh-huh
...
I’m sorry but
Do you not teach a Georgia O’Keefe unit?
MR. REMY
Me? I do not.
But yes, it was part of last year’s curriculum with Ms. Sage—
SHEA
So you’ll expose them to vaginal imagery and have them emulate vaginal imagery, but god forbid my kid sculpts a vagina, she gets the slap on the wrist?
MR. REMY
And I see that. I understand.
But at the same time...and I believe this is the position from the school
Our families come from so many different backgrounds and perspectives that kids are going to catch on at different times about this—
SHEA
And if Dani passes on the vagina craze, soon enough all the other little girls and boys are going to be making vaginas and drawing vaginas and the whole class will be corrupted by labia mania. And when their parents find out their little angels know about private parts before they’re ready they’re going to call the school and threaten to pull out and not give money.
I think that’s the real worry here. Would you say that’s right?
Because I’m looking around and I’m seeing a whole lot worse things out there than clay vaginas.
…
MR. REMY
I um
I appreciate your candor. I really do. And honestly, I want to say I don’t necessarily disagree.
But um
I wonder if at this point, given your input, if I should connect you with our principal to discuss this further.
Not that I’m unwilling, but
I do feel that this conversation is a bit above my pay grade
Haha
SHEA
Alright.
…
So what happens, do you send me to a breakout room, or something?
MR. REMY
I’m...not sure. Let me send a call over to her office and she’ll contact you to find a time.
SHEA
That’s fine, thank you.
MR. REMY
My pleasure, ma’am.
And thank you for Dani, she truly is wonderful to have.
SHEA
Thank you, Mr. Remy.
I know.
The call disconnects.