The Matrix
June 28th, 2020
Starring: Single 1, Single 2
Single 1 and Single 2 are paddling a metal canoe. They don’t look particularly experienced, but are trying to take it seriously.
SINGLE 1
Want to rest for a second?
SINGLE 2
Do you mind?
SINGLE 1
No, I need it too.
…
SINGLE 1
Everyone else is so slow.
SINGLE 2
I don’t think they’re really paddling. It’s more of a social leisure kind of activity.
SINGLE 1
So why are we taking it so seriously?
SINGLE 2
Probably because we’re not a couple. Like every other canoe.
...
SINGLE 1
We’re totally trying to get set up, right?
SINGLE 2
Probably, yeah.
SINGLE 1
I’m starting to feel like that’s why we got invited at all.
SINGLE 2
I mean, it tracks. If it was an all couples trip, why invite two single people?
SINGLE 1
To set them up.
What if the whole trip was designed around that? Intentionally?
SINGLE 2
That also sounds pretty self-important.
SINGLE 1
Sure, but this is kind of how couples get off, you know? Once a couple is a couple and they’ve bonded with other couples, their priorities shift to making every single person in their lives a couple too.
SINGLE 2
Yeah...and then they rely on their network of couples to find other single people to set them up with. Like I work with Jamie—
SINGLE 1
And I went to college with Maurice—
SINGLE 2
And then they bring us here and kind of fix everything to increase the chances of it working—
SINGLE 1
And if it does...
SINGLE 2
We become a part of the couple family.
SINGLE 1
And then they get to say they set two of their friends up, which is social currency gold!
SINGLE 2
Bastards!
SINGLE 1
Total bastards!
And it sucks because it’s probably been working without us fully realizing it!
SINGLE 2
Yeah, it probably is!
…
SINGLE 1
Well
At least we see the game for what it is now. Loosens some of the burden, right?
SINGLE 2
Right.
It’s like The Matrix. Have you ever seen The Matrix?
SINGLE 1
I’ve always wanted to.
But Maurice mentioned he happened to bring the DVD with him.
…
Oh my god.
They really thought of everything, didn’t they?
SINGLE 2
Yeah. They’re like The Agents.
SINGLE 1
What?
SINGLE 2
Another Matrix reference.
I guess you’ll see.
When we watch it.
Together.
SINGLE 1
Yep.
...
Soo should we start heading back?
SINGLE 2
After you.
They start to paddle again.