The Sermon
May 25th, 2020
Starring: Pastor
Sunday. Pastor stands at a podium:
PASTOR
My words today are admittedly short, but I hope you can find it in yourself to hold them close.
…
As I stood in my robe this morning, coffee in my right hand, bible in my left, I felt something. And I’ll tell you, I hadn’t felt anything like it in a long time.
A craving.
Now to me, a craving goes beyond the realm of like. It transcends want, or even need. A craving is spiritual. A craving is carnal. A craving is your soul telling you to stand up straight and listen. So I listened. I thrust open the pantry door, and proceeded to explore its subterranean depths, searching for my craving’s end. I left no cereal untouched, no condiment unencumbered, no can unturned. And finally, underneath an ancient box of orzo, I found it: A tin of Starkist tuna. The little tuna man on the label looked up at me, smiling, like a dog when its owner comes home.
I thought back to when I was young, when my grandmother would pick me up from school. She’d make me a tuna sandwich every day, rain or shine. She always told me, “people are gonna tell you tuna is the chicken of the sea. I say chicken is the tuna of the land.”
I don’t know how I wound up with that tin, to tell you the truth. I haven’t had much of it since my younger days. But it was as if that tuna had been waiting for me, right for that very moment. A moment of sheer divinity.
So I ate the whole can, juices and all, at my kitchen counter. As the sun came up.
…
Now I’m sure to many of you, the thought of that triggers some ill feelings. In all my years, in all my interactions, in all my travels, I have never encountered more individuals who are revolted by the notion of tuna in a tin.
Heck, I understand where the malice comes from. It’s ugly. It’s smelly. It’s not what the cool kids eat.
But where in the holy scriptures does it ever say that is the criteria through which we must assign things value? Go ahead. Show me any passage that says a bluefin filet is any better than albacore chunky lite! Because I’ve read this holy book time and time and time again, and I can’t seem to find one.
I’m speaking about inner beauty here, ladies and gentlemen. The beauty that goes beyond taste, beyond smell, beyond sight. A beauty that is defined by nothing else than the nourishment it provides. And if this can be said for a fish in the sea, the same can surely be said for you and me.
…
You may not like it. You may not buy it. You may not eat it. But you must respect it. A respect for the simple joy and sustenance it can bring.
In times such as these, I know that the road is not a simple one.
But I assure you. Keep tuna in your heart, and there will always be a path for salvation.
And let us say together,
Amen.