This Is Not About Weed
April 28th, 2020
Starring: Mom & Dad (60’s), Daughter & Son (20’s)
A table for four. Son and Daughter are sitting at the table. Mom enters from right. Dad enters from left. They look at the other, for a moment.
MOM
Dad.
DAD
Mom.
MOM
Daughter. Son.
DAD
Son. Daughter.
DAUGHTER
Mom. Dad.
SON
Dad. Mom.
Daughter and Son tap the seats next to them, respectively. Mom and Dad sit.
DAUGHTER
We know.
SON
It’s been a while.
DAUGHTER
And trust us, we know.
SON
This is not your thing.
DAUGHTER
But times are…
SON
Different?
DAUGHTER
Very.
So.
We wanted to try something.
SON
New.
DAUGHTER
And that’s why you’re here.
SON
Surprise.
DAUGHTER
We locked the doors.
SON
Not to be dramatic—
DAUGHTER
But kind of to be.
SON
The point—
DAUGHTER
The point…
SON
The point.
Son reaches under the table and places a baking tin between them. It’s covered in foil.
The siblings gesture. The parents remove the foil. Brownies. The parents stare at each other, then the siblings.
SON
Yep.
DAUGHTER
Just like you used to make.
SON
But we added an ingredient.
DAUGHTER
Just a little something extra.
SON
You shouldn’t be able to taste it.
DAUGHTER
But it’s there.
SON
We thought they would help.
DAUGHTER
They will help, trust me.
SON
Trust me.
DAUGHTER
Try one.
SON
Try one.
DAUGHTER
Or two.
SON
Start with one.
…
DAUGHTER
Well, go on.
A pause. Mom & Dad share another look before each taking one. Son and Daughter follow.
SON & DAUGHTER
Cheers.
A quiet, communal chew. It goes on for a while.
MOM
I don’t taste the secret ingredient.
DAD
Nor do I.
The siblings are more hurt than they let on. They look at each other, telepathically deciding who should tell them. Finally:
…
SON
It’s love.
The word kind of awkwardly hangs in the air. They all sit in it, silently.
Someone reaches for another brownie, solemnly.