Deep-Dive
July 12th, 2020
Starring: Alan (male) and Cleo (female)
A local dive bar, completely empty. Cleo stands behind the bar. Alan walks in, hanging his coat on a rack. He shuffles onto a bar stool.
ALAN
Evening Cleo.
CLEO
Alan. What’ll it be?
ALAN
Shot and a beer.
CLEO
You got it.
Cleo procures Alan’s drinks.
CLEO
So how are you Al?
ALAN
About the same. You?
CLEO
About the same too.
Alan takes his shot.
ALAN
You thirsty? I’ll buy you something.
CLEO
Oh, no. I don’t drink, you know that.
ALAN
I forgot, quite frankly.
My memory’s been slipping up nowadays. It’s not good.
CLEO
It makes you human.
ALAN
I guess so.
I think it’s the times. All the news. Fogs up the head.
CLEO
So quit looking.
ALAN
I can’t. Need to stay informed, and all.
CLEO
Hey, no need to take my two cents.
ALAN
You know I appreciate it.
CLEO
I do. You can’t call me a bartender if I’m not equipped to dispense advice on occasion.
You want another?
ALAN
Nah.
Could you tell me something?
CLEO
Tell you what?
ALAN
I don’t know, some kind of cool bartender fact? Anything. Something to get me out of the now.
CLEO
Alright.
…
Have I ever told you about my cousin? The mountaineer?
ALAN
I don’t think so.
CLEO
I have a cousin who’s a mountaineer. She climbs mountains as a job.
ALAN
Woah.
CLEO
She’s a professional.
Right now, she’s trying to climb the tallest peak on every continent.
ALAN
That’s nuts. Where’s she now?
CLEO
The Vinson Massif.
ALAN
Where’s that?
CLEO
Antarctica.
ALAN
Jeez. I didn’t know they had mountains there.
CLEO
They do.
ALAN
And she’s alone?
CLEO
Completely.
ALAN
Dang. That’s badass.
I wanna climb a mountain in Antarctica.
…
Do you know if she’s single?
CLEO
Helplessly.
ALAN
Do you think I could meet her sometime?
CLEO
You can’t.
ALAN
Well maybe in between mountains she—
CLEO
She doesn’t exist, Al.
I made that all up.
ALAN
Really?
CLEO
I’m a robot. I can’t have a cousin.
ALAN
Oh
Right, I keep forgetting.
...
That was a very nice distraction, though. Very believable.
CLEO
Thank you.
…
I can keep going with it, if you want.
ALAN
Do you mind?
CLEO
Not at all.
Do you want another?
ALAN
Yeah, sure.
Cleo fills up Alan’s shot glass. He takes it.
ALAN
So where’s your cousin going next?
Blackout.