Blowout
December 10th, 2020
Starring: Shoshana (female, 40’s), Arno (male, 40’s)
The kitchen, night. A Hanukkah menorah stands the countertop. The two candles have burned down to about half of their initial size, but are no longer lit. Arno is in the kitchen, drinking from a glass. Shoshana enters, catching him off-guard.
ARNO
You’re up.
SHOSHANA
What is that?
ARNO
Warm milk.
SHOSHANA
Oh really?
ARNO
Holiday impulse. Don’t ask.
…
Shoshana sees the menorah. She points to it.
ARNO
What?
SHOSHANA
They’re out.
ARNO
I blew them out. Everyone was off to bed, I figured we were done.
…
Are we not?
SHOSHANA
You’re not supposed to blow them out.
ARNO
I didn’t want to leave it.
SHOSHANA
That’s the whole significance of the holiday.
ARNO
It’s a fire hazard.
SHOSHANA
How is—
ARNO
Every year I have this fear that an unattended candle will go rogue and burn down the house.
SHOSHANA
Honestly what are the chances?
ARNO
I’ve thought about this a lot. There’s got to be a handful of houses every year that burn due to Hanukkah candle related incidents.
SHOSHANA
I know you don’t want to hear this. I know. But I really wish you could shut off the OCD for like five minutes—
ARNO
This isn’t OCD. It’s a practical preventative measure—
SHOSHANA
That’s OCD.
ARNO
You can’t tell me when it is or when it isn’t OCD. I know when it’s OCD, and this is not that.
This is caring. This is protecting. This is a tiny little sacrifice to save everything we have from being reduced to a puddle of ash.
...
I’m sorry about the sacrilege. I love you. I love our life. I’d really like to hold onto it. Ok?
…
SHOSHANA
Ok. I love you too.
Arno smiles, then finishes his milk. He goes to the sink, taking 45 seconds to meticulously clean the glass. He dries it with a towel, then places it back in the cupboard, making sure it’s uniform. He turns back to Shoshana and kisses her on the forehead.
ARNO
Sleep tight.
Arno heads to bed. Shoshana watches him go, then looks to the menorah.
SHOSHANA
Seven more.
…
Jesus.