Covenant
November 24th, 2020
Starring: Abba (male, 30’s), Eema (female, 30’s)
The middle of the night. Eema is lying on her back, awake, and quite quite pregnant. Abba is awake, also on his back. After a few silent moments:
ABBA
You awake, champ?
EEMA
You know it, slugger.
ABBA
Feeling ok?
EEMA
We got some major kicking action going on.
ABBA
But you don’t think…?
EEMA
No. Not yet. Little guy’s still getting that battering ram ready.
ABBA
Or little gal.
EEMA
I meant guy in the gender neutral.
ABBA
Ah.
…
You think we’re being dumb, waiting?
EEMA
Kind of too late to change course.
ABBA
I know but
I was thinking this morning
EEMA
I’m not worried about the clothes—
ABBA
No, not that. I was thinking because we don’t know, we can’t really plan for the bris. Or baby naming. Whichever.
...
EEMA
Oh shit
we totally forgot about that didn’t we
ABBA
Completely and totally
EEMA
I mean...do you think given the circumstances it’s null and void? We can’t really gather with anyone. Noone’s flying in.
ABBA
But still...we have to have one. My parents are going to expect to have one.
EEMA
Mine probably will too. But I don’t know...like, what do we do?
ABBA
I guess we go virtual.
EEMA
What if it’s a boy?
ABBA
We figure it out.
EEMA
Well I’m sorry, but I don’t like the idea of our baby getting circumcised on Zoom.
ABBA
Yeah, it’s horrifying. But what’s the alternative?
EEMA
Hope it’s a girl, I guess. A baby naming’s just a ceremony.
ABBA
That’s it? That’s why we should have a girl?
EEMA
It would be one less thing, logistically.
ABBA
Ok but it might not be a girl. If it’s a boy, we have to cut it at eight days.
EEMA
Who says?
ABBA
The bible?
EEMA
Are there biblical instructions for how to perform a pandemic bris?
ABBA
I doubt it.
EEMA
So screw it. The little guy’s not gonna know the difference if it’s eight days or eight months.
ABBA
And we tell everyone…?
EEMA
We did it. The moyle came by and did it outside or something. Noone else has to know.
ABBA
Except god. But I think he’s got his hands full at the moment.
EEMA
I dare him to smite us for it. I dare him.
ABBA
Him?
EEMA
Him in the gender neutral. Whatever.
…
…
I just want to get it out. Safely.
ABBA
I know. We’re gonna.
Eema experiences another kick.
EEMA
Ow.
ABBA
Still kicking?
EEMA
Yep.
Abba puts his hand on Eema’s stomach.
ABBA
Soon enough, champ. Soon enough.