Testament
December 8th, 2020
Starring: Girl (female, 21), Boy (male, 17), Lawyer (male, 60’s), Actress (female, late 50’s)
A small-ish law office. Girl and Boy sit in chairs next to one another, facing Lawyer, who is sifting through a small stack of papers from a manila envelope.
LAWYER
Are you settled?
Girl and Boy look at eachother and nod. Lawyer puts down the papers and vacates his seat. He flips off the main lights, leaving only the desk lamp on. He stands and waits in a shadowy corner of the room. A few moments of silent confusion.
The door opens. Actress enters, wearing an elegant sundress and pumps. She sits at the desk, addressing Girl and Boy:
ACTRESS
Kids. It’s me. Well obviously it’s not me, but these are my clothes, and these are my words. I wrote them, and thought it best you should hear them from an actual living, breathing, emoting interpretation of me, not some dull-voiced estate lawyer who’s got to run to an 11:45 tee time.
(to Lawyer)
No offense.
LAWYER
None at all—
ACTRESS
I wanted you to hear me in my element, one last time. You’re my kids, after all.
Kids. We use the same word for young goats as we do for young humans. I’ve always found that funny. Don’t you think it’s funny? You’d think we could have a special word all to ourselves, but...that’s the word. You are my kids, and you always will be.
I only wish at the moment you hear this, you aren’t kids. Children. Too young to comprehend the grief flooding, the guardianship logistics, the very concept of where I went and why. That’s been settled in case it needs to be, but you deserve better. If I am gone, you deserve the chance to to avoid people making choices for you, launch your own boats down the river. I hope I’ve held on long enough so you can.
Regardless, I say regrettably that I don’t have much to hand down to you. It’s better than what many leave behind, but nothing you can rest your laurels on. I was a writer. Sorry. While I want nothing more for you to need nothing else for the rest of your lives, part of me is glad that you’ve got to keep going forward. Consider whatever the legal eagle reads off after I go as my little push.
And finally, some individual words for you both.
To my boy, be vulnerable. Lead modestly. Eat your Wheaties, but don’t forget to floss.
To my girl, seek joy. Keep your inner standards high, others’ standards dry. Take care of your brother, even when he swears he doesn’t need you.
As for me, I’m here. Not here here, but I’m around. Look out.
Actress gets up and heads for the door. She stops.
And don’t cry.
After a perfect dramatic pause:
Maybe a little, but not too much.
Bye kids.
Actress exits. Lawyer turns back on the lights and sits at the desk.
LAWYER
Quite the performance, huh?
Girl and Boy sit there, dazed and confused. Lawyer looks through the papers again and frowns:
LAWYER
Shoot
I left the will copy on the printer.
Be right back.
Lawyer bustles out of the room.
BOY
That was so…
GIRL
Her?
...
BOY
I’m going to cry.
GIRL
Remember, only a little.
BOY
I promise.
Boy starts to cry. It’s a lot. Girl offers her shoulder, but he pushes it away. After a few more sobs, Girl offers her shoulder again, and he accepts. She smirks, sadly:
GIRL
Bravo mom.